Mad Scientess Jane Expat
The last week of radio silence has not been the result of a sudden conversion to Mennonism or an internet outage or even a flounce.
It was the flu.
It started on Wednesday. My temperature climbed to 39 degrees C (102 F) and spiked at over 40 C (104 F). Repeatedly. For five [string of vituperative expletives deleted] days. I spent five days alternating between shivering under all the blankets & duvets I could find, and sweating like a pig in pants and bra. I haven't been this ill for this long since I was ten and I had an ear infection. That probably doesn't sound too bad until I add the little detail that I managed to conceal how awful I was feeling the morning it started so I could go to school. A teacher found me at the end of lunch recess. I was slumped against a concrete pillar, screaming, in an attempt to drown out the pounding in my head and the tinnitus in my ears.
The tinnitus decided to stage a comeback with this round of flu, too.
I'm now recovering, though still very weak. I can, thankfully, perform simple household tasks again. I never thought I'd be so pleased to do the washing up. I'm very far behind on all forms of communication. I hope you can all forgive me if I draw a line under replying to comments left prior to today and start afresh. If there are any posts here or anywhere else - Dreamwidth, Livejournal, Twitter or Facebook - that you would very much like me to see and acknowledge, let me know. I suspect it's going to take me at least a week to get back to full strength. I missed it here. Please consider waves, "HI!"s, shoulder-bumps and hugs distributed as desired.
PS Keiki is fine and seems to have escaped contracting it. Am v thankful for antibodies in breast milk right now.
This entry was originally posted at http://nanila.dreamwidth.org/966372.html. The titration count is at .0 pKa.
Welcome back! *waves a not-too-exciting-but-still-celebratory flag*
Thank you! Hopefully a more exciting, less whinge-centric post to follow soon.
So glad that you're feeling better! xxx
Thank you! Loads better, and more so today. Mustn't push it though.
Ill and still doing the Mum stuff....
It reminds me of a poem I found years ago.... ( not my normal sort of thing and a bit hippyish)but the line about feeding the children...seems appropriate.
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
THE INVITATION by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Well, the best thing for Keiki was to continue breastfeeding straight through my illness so he could get the antibodies I was producing. It may have meant I was ill for somewhat longer, since I wasn't eating a lot and feeding him probably depleted my resources further, but it did mean he was a lot less likely to get it!
Oh dear! Glad you're on the mend. :D
Thank you! Me too. So happy to be feeling (approximately) myself again. :)
BTW, it was you that recommended the "Old Man's War" series by John Scalzi to me, right? Thanks for that too - Zoe's Tale kept me from wanting to expire from boredom at being TOO HOT or TOO COLD all the time.
Sounds like the sort of thing I'd do. ;)
glad you're feeling somewhat human again. feel better!