Things I'm Looking Forward To Doing Now That I'm British: Number Three
3. Wholeheartedly believing that there is no hardship that cannot be eased through the application of tea. Not green tea or herb tea or indeed, even loose-leaf black tea. Tea that comes in teabags, has been anointed with boiling water from the electric kettle and is served with milk. If the need for tea has befallen you abruptly then it is more likely to be served in a large mug than a delicate china tea set, but it is still the same beverage. Broken up with your partner? Failed an exam? Lost your wallet? A good cup of builder's, that'll sort you out. Been evicted? Lost a pet? Given birth ten minutes ago? Well then, love, you deserve a bit of sugar in too.
(Truthfully, I don't have to try too hard to achieve this one. When my London flat was burgled, the bloke turned up as fast as he could, accompanied by two police officers and a bunch of flowers. The first thing he did after hugging me was make me a huge mug of tea with sugar in and force me to sit down and drink it. I felt 10000 times better and I have believed in tea ever since.)
