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This Caturday: Horrible Things Our Cat Has Left Us Recently - Sauntering Vaguely Downward [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

This Caturday: Horrible Things Our Cat Has Left Us Recently [20120728|15:29]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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Just in case you miss the subject line, don’t click the cut text below if you have an aversion to viewing dead, drowned and dissected birds and mammals. Telstar has been on an absolute rampage recently and he seems to want to drag everything home and share it with us. Some of the horrors may hold a macabre amusement for those of you who have lived with cats for a long time, so I’m sharing them on this fine Caturday.



Yep, that’s a drowned mouse in a toilet. Thank you, cat.



And this is a pair of dead robins in the front hallway. One is decapitated. The other is intact. The perpetrator can be seen lurking in the background.





The pièce de résistance. Half of a squirrel, its paws, its face, and its liver artistically arranged on the landing. I have no idea how he got it to appear as if the front half of the squirrel had teleported through the floor.



Look at that face. Butter wouldn't melt!
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: melissa_maples
2012-07-28 14:45 (UTC)
Wait, is the squirrel tail sticking straight up in the air? That is art.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-28 15:01 (UTC)
It's sticking up, but then arced rather gracefully toward the door. I still can't work out how he managed to arrange it.
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2012-07-28 15:51 (UTC)
Are you sure it was the cat and not something else?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-28 18:52 (UTC)
No, I'm really not!
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2012-07-28 20:33 (UTC)
Just saying. A Kattergeist. A malicious gnome. In cahoots with your cat.
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[User Picture]From: dylsexia
2012-07-28 15:21 (UTC)
How contemporary. This needs to be in the Tate modern.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-28 18:53 (UTC)
The squirrel, especially. It looks...premeditated. O.O
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[User Picture]From: doccy
2012-07-28 15:44 (UTC)
...are you sure it didn't teleport through the floor? After all, squirrels...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-28 19:07 (UTC)
He tends to dispatch squirrels promptly. Mice and birds he'll toy with, but a squirrel is too delicious to allow the luxury of potential escape.
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[User Picture]From: becala
2012-07-28 16:58 (UTC)
Aw, he's trying to take care of you. :)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-28 19:08 (UTC)
I would agree with you on the basis of the birds and the mice, but that squirrel arrangement is fairly sinister. I think that's more of a warning.
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[User Picture]From: cosmiccircus
2012-07-28 19:12 (UTC)
You must save a fortune in cat food since he's able to feed himself! And the squirrel was a work of art the way it was laid out!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-28 19:22 (UTC)
You'd think we'd save money, but the fact is he's just as spoilt as every other much-loved house cat. :P
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[User Picture]From: victorine
2012-07-29 01:19 (UTC)
Had a good laugh over these! When we lived in Nola, We had a mouse problem, which came to our attention via a dead mouse in Brian's shoe. He seemed to think that was where he should put his offerings! I wonder if Telstar is trying to provide or compete with impending new family member?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-30 08:11 (UTC)
He is very fond of the bump at the moment. He snuggles up to Passenger when I'm lying on my side - doesn't even seem to mind when he gets pummeled! I think he might be trying to provide.

We'll see if he changes his mind once the baby is outside my belly...
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[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2012-07-29 17:11 (UTC)
*lol*

Maybe I'm weird, but I find most of those photos highly amusing, especially the squirrel-in-a-transporter-accident one! Although, I admit, I'd probably have jumped out my skin on initially finding a dead mouse floating in the toilet bowl!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-30 08:17 (UTC)
The mouse was real shocker. We discovered that one coming home after the pub shut. Well, the bloke did. I heard a yelp from the loo, and rushed up the stairs.

Him from inside: "Um...did you not flush the toilet?"
Me, indignantly: "I haven't been home all day! How could I have left something in the toilet?? And I ALWAYS flush the toilet!"
Him: *opens the door*
Me, on entering: "Also, I can't imagine any human poops grey, furry, perfectly mouse-shaped poo..."
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[User Picture]From: smallfurry
2012-07-29 18:54 (UTC)
Q: What's worse than finding a dead squirrel in your hallway?
A: Finding _half_ a dead squirrel.

Although it could be preferable to finding a live squirrel in your hallway...
My mom's cat left a half squirrel in the carport one morning for us. I think it's odd that they always eat the heads first - the feet seem much more tender.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-30 08:19 (UTC)
When Sputnik was around, all we ever got were the tails. Between them, they'd devour the whole thing. Telstar seems to find an entire squirrel a bit too much these days.
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[User Picture]From: angelcityblues
2012-07-30 04:35 (UTC)
I, as a former owner of outdoor cats, found this terribly amusing. Twinkle used to bring all sorts of crap inside. Batman at least would leave it on the mat. Many a morning we played "Guess The Critter," because frequently we'd get a tail and a gizzard, and little else. Ew. Mouse is not an outdoor kitty or I'm sure she'd be bringing me all sorts of fuzzy things.

I want to know how the hell he drowned a mouse in a toilet. The squirrel parts, I'd probably not bat an eyelash at given that I've had cats who brought home parts and left them in a gruesome arrangement. But to drown a mouse? Now that takes some forethought.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-07-30 08:21 (UTC)
It's eerie how precise their dissection technique is! Telstar leaves only innards sometimes, too - a neatly excised liver and entrails, usually.

I don't know why he put the mouse in the toilet. I suspect it was still alive when he dropped it there, since he likes to play with them before he scrunches them up.
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[User Picture]From: flockofsmeagols
2012-08-01 16:55 (UTC)
I now understand why The Great Catsby, a very indoor cat (we lost our previous cat who we were allowing outside, so this one stays in), has a habit of dropping every toy or item he plays with into his big water bowl.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2012-07-31 18:54 (UTC)
O.O Pretty sure I'd have levitated to come across the mouse--the understanding of MOUSE, ZOMg! in the bowl would make me jumpy & watchful...forever? ;) And the squirrel? That's art. And hella-creepy.

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[User Picture]From: nanila
2012-08-01 12:39 (UTC)
Yes, I'm glad the bloke found the mouse and not me. At least he was standing up when he discovered it. O.O
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[User Picture]From: jixel
2012-08-02 09:13 (UTC)
Jeffrey Dahmer cat
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