Mad Scientess Jane Expat
Every time I think I've turned into a Real Grown-up, something happens to prove that I'm not. For instance, I thought I'd finally conquered the whole "packing-at-the-last-minute-while-drunk" malarkey. I was wrong.
Last Thursday, I met a few fellow geeks at a pub near Kings Cross for beers. I only had two, but it was enough to send me to the train in a merry state. When I arrived home, the bloke helped this along by pouring me a large glass of sherry. I then packed my rucksack for our walking weekend in the Peak District.
Here is what I discovered I had flung into my bag on arrival at the hostel.
- 2 pairs trousers
- 2 pairs socks
- 2 sports bras
- 1 fleece
- 1 mostly empty washkit
You will notice a few key items are missing. These include:
- Thermal tops (or indeed, any tops at all)
- And most importantly, underpants
As a result, I have now hiked a section of the Pennine Way in the style of a commando.
You will be happy to know that today, I am wearing pants, and it feels a little strange.
My God, you mean he force feeds them alcohol first? Why, the fiend!
[later, on the 6 o'clock news:]
Well-coiffed presenter: And now, from the Peak District, breaking news. Authorities announce the emergence of a new serial killer, one with a very specific profile. Currently, s/he's called the Scientist-targeting-sherry-deploying-pants-and-fleece Ripper. For more, we go live to our reporter in Upper Lower Little Windringbottom. Over to you, Clyde...
Clyde: thank you, Araminta...
If there a training course I can take to become you guys, cos you're just awesome :D
[PRE-EDITED TO ADD: Aw. That is such a nice thing to say. Come down from the peanut gallery and join the giddy silliness! The following is the result of: jet-lag, too much coffee, and the poor idea of listening to NPR while half-awake getting ready for work...]
Alas, it looks like BBC will have to cut: New Drama Series Development, TV News Show Presenter Development, and Complete Internet Smartarse Development.
They won't be able to import any from the USA, because of the new immigration laws. (How a bunch of Oxbridge grads think that was a good idea, considering who staffed their colleges at university is a mystery, but xenophobia will do that to even the most well educated of persons, long live the Empire.)
In a way, that wouldn't help much either, since the US Congress is hell bent on getting rid of similar programming in Public Media in the United States, and that means we are going to have very few English language internet smart arse training courses available to us in the future outside of Canada and Australia. And since they are better known for other specialities, that doesn't look good for us.
Unless the Emir of Qattar (who owns Al Jazeera, which has an English branch), or Rupert Murdoch become very, very generious in media smart arse training, we may be looking at a very grim future for silly commentery on blogs.
Of course, you can always do what Abe Lincoln did, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and then work out your silly internet commentary lessons on a shovel back, with charcoal, from your log cabin in Kentucky. He was kind of witty, actually!
Edited at 2011-03-21 02:28 pm (UTC)
I do not think I can add anything of substance to this thread that will make it any more awesome.
Therefore, I will simply opt to add an adorable photo of Sandra Oh in fairy wings, tempting Cookie Monster with her confectionery.
I love Cookie Monster's expression, which I interpret as, "Lady, you're sweet and all, but if you don't fork that cookie over RIGHT NOW I shall be forced to nom you and your dress."
I love the linzer cookie decorations on her top! Now I want jelly filled cookies.
Mmm, yes. Want Jaffa cakes.