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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

Overshare Monday [20110321|10:26]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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[the weather today is |you're welcome]

Every time I think I've turned into a Real Grown-up, something happens to prove that I'm not. For instance, I thought I'd finally conquered the whole "packing-at-the-last-minute-while-drunk" malarkey. I was wrong.

Last Thursday, I met a few fellow geeks at a pub near Kings Cross for beers. I only had two, but it was enough to send me to the train in a merry state. When I arrived home, the bloke helped this along by pouring me a large glass of sherry. I then packed my rucksack for our walking weekend in the Peak District.

Here is what I discovered I had flung into my bag on arrival at the hostel.

  • 2 pairs trousers
  • 2 pairs socks
  • 2 sports bras
  • 1 fleece
  • 1 mostly empty washkit


You will notice a few key items are missing. These include:

  • Thermal tops (or indeed, any tops at all)
  • Toothpaste
  • And most importantly, underpants


As a result, I have now hiked a section of the Pennine Way in the style of a commando.

You will be happy to know that today, I am wearing pants, and it feels a little strange.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: alice_mccoy
2011-03-21 11:01 (UTC)
He he he
Just think how much chaos you could have caused the authorities if you had been found dedded on the moors.

Detective #1 : "Well Symonds, this Jane Doe couldn't be a simple accident because she has nothing on her nethers. Someone must have stripped and redressed the body."

Detective # 2: "So its someone who collects tops, undies and toothpaste as trophies".

Pathologist #1: Guys you don't need to roll out all the resources this has a perfectly simple explanation.

*Points to scan showing the state of Jane Doe's liver*

Det#1 & Det#2 "Ahhhhhhh"
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[User Picture]From: helpful_mammal
2011-03-21 11:42 (UTC)
My God, you mean he force feeds them alcohol first? Why, the fiend!
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2011-03-21 13:17 (UTC)
[later, on the 6 o'clock news:]

Well-coiffed presenter: And now, from the Peak District, breaking news. Authorities announce the emergence of a new serial killer, one with a very specific profile. Currently, s/he's called the Scientist-targeting-sherry-deploying-pants-and-fleece Ripper. For more, we go live to our reporter in Upper Lower Little Windringbottom. Over to you, Clyde...

Clyde: thank you, Araminta...
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[User Picture]From: gourou
2011-03-21 13:37 (UTC)
If there a training course I can take to become you guys, cos you're just awesome :D
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2011-03-21 14:27 (UTC)
[PRE-EDITED TO ADD: Aw. That is such a nice thing to say. Come down from the peanut gallery and join the giddy silliness! The following is the result of: jet-lag, too much coffee, and the poor idea of listening to NPR while half-awake getting ready for work...]

Alas, it looks like BBC will have to cut: New Drama Series Development, TV News Show Presenter Development, and Complete Internet Smartarse Development.

They won't be able to import any from the USA, because of the new immigration laws. (How a bunch of Oxbridge grads think that was a good idea, considering who staffed their colleges at university is a mystery, but xenophobia will do that to even the most well educated of persons, long live the Empire.)

In a way, that wouldn't help much either, since the US Congress is hell bent on getting rid of similar programming in Public Media in the United States, and that means we are going to have very few English language internet smart arse training courses available to us in the future outside of Canada and Australia. And since they are better known for other specialities, that doesn't look good for us.

Unless the Emir of Qattar (who owns Al Jazeera, which has an English branch), or Rupert Murdoch become very, very generious in media smart arse training, we may be looking at a very grim future for silly commentery on blogs.

Of course, you can always do what Abe Lincoln did, and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and then work out your silly internet commentary lessons on a shovel back, with charcoal, from your log cabin in Kentucky. He was kind of witty, actually!

Edited at 2011-03-21 02:28 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:10 (UTC)
I do not think I can add anything of substance to this thread that will make it any more awesome.

Therefore, I will simply opt to add an adorable photo of Sandra Oh in fairy wings, tempting Cookie Monster with her confectionery.

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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2011-03-22 15:20 (UTC)
That? Is super-cute.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-23 22:41 (UTC)
I love Cookie Monster's expression, which I interpret as, "Lady, you're sweet and all, but if you don't fork that cookie over RIGHT NOW I shall be forced to nom you and your dress."
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[User Picture]From: victorine
2011-03-22 18:03 (UTC)
I love the linzer cookie decorations on her top! Now I want jelly filled cookies.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-23 22:39 (UTC)
Mmm, yes. Want Jaffa cakes.
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[User Picture]From: alice_mccoy
2011-03-21 22:10 (UTC)
ROTFLM...covered...AO
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2011-03-21 11:24 (UTC)
Thank god I am not the only person to whom these things happen.

Were you also walking the hills in a sports bra and fleece only? Oh, please say you were!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:12 (UTC)
Sadly, no. That would have been pretty cold. The wind was bitter and the sunshine isn't quite powerful enough at this time of year to counteract it. I borrowed a thermal top from the bloke!
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[User Picture]From: helpful_mammal
2011-03-21 11:39 (UTC)
Well, that certainly makes any of my walks pale by comparison. You are a veritable walking heroine, m'dear!

Edited to add:
Does this mean however that next time you go walking you will concentrate so hard on not forgetting these things that you will end up packing only toothpaste and underwear? And tops, I suppose, although that's not quite so entertaining.


Edited at 2011-03-22 01:59 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:14 (UTC)
At least I didn't have to carry a 1-year-old on my back as well. That task fell to the bloke, to help out one of our companions (who was carrying the 3-year-old) & his wife. I inherited the rucksack. We worked out later that the 1-year-old weighed only marginally more than the rucksack. It turns out that water is heavy.

I don't think I will concentrate so hard that I remember only toothpaste and underwear. I think I will probably get drunk again. As becala reminded me, the same thing happened when I went to Paris last summer, which means it isn't my fault. It's the underpants gnomes.
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[User Picture]From: victorine
2011-03-22 18:05 (UTC)
I think you should embroider a packing list in the lid of your suitcase/rucksack/overnight bag.

1. underpants
2. trousers
3. socks
4. tops
5. toothpaste
6. advil (for the hangover)
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[User Picture]From: cosmiccircus
2011-03-21 13:37 (UTC)
I hope that it was at least warm enough to walk topless and there wasn't a breeze to make going commando easier. And I doubt the bloke complained too much :)
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[User Picture]From: chickenfeet2003
2011-03-21 13:47 (UTC)
Warm and no wind on Kinder Scout? In March?

I suppose at least there's less laundry to do when one ends up in peat bog up to one's arse.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:16 (UTC)
At least I remembered my waterproof hiking boots. One of our company was wearing white & green Converse. Well, she was at the start of the walk, anyway. You can imagine what happened to them.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:15 (UTC)
I had to borrow a thermal top from him. The wind is still pretty bitter up there at this time of year!
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[User Picture]From: doccy
2011-03-21 15:16 (UTC)
Thanks to Moonpig...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:21 (UTC)
I might have to try that sometime.
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[User Picture]From: trendyprof
2011-03-21 23:28 (UTC)

What's being a real grown up? ;)

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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:21 (UTC)
If I ever find out, I'll let you know.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2011-03-21 23:44 (UTC)
Good god, how can one compete? You are one brand of clever, your friends--another.

Wish to see a snapshot or three of your expression when you realized what you did, & did not pack for your trip, pls thx. Reenactment?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:25 (UTC)
I will do my best to provide. Probably not til the weekend, though!
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-22 13:23 (UTC)
But exactly. We were with the bloke's research group, too. I suspect they were not impressed by my elegance and composure.
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[User Picture]From: victorine
2011-03-22 18:07 (UTC)
Somedays I think, wow! I did the laundry, cleaned the bathroom, picked up all the crap in the living room, made a bank deposit, picked up mail from our business mailbox. And then a day later, remember I forgot to pay several bills. argh.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2011-03-23 22:37 (UTC)
It's a never-ending battle, this "trying to be a responsible adult" business. Most days I want to give up on it.
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