Five Days of Bliss by Sputnik & Telstar
Monday The Woman arose very early this morning. Made an unusual amount of fuss over us before giving us our goosh and leaving. We are not amused.
Tuesday The Woman never returned last night. The Man gave us our goosh so we don't care that much. However, he tends to pick us up, turn us upside down, rub our bellies vigorously and try to get us to play after we just ate. This is less acceptable to us than The Woman's approach, which is to stroke us gently and witter nonsense. Perhaps The Man requires gentle urging in this direction, if The Woman has truly abandoned us forever.
Wednesday Telstar: To facilitate the above, went to enormous lengths to bring down a member of the crow family, as have never managed this before. Triumphantly presented the magpie to The Man.
Results not as expected.
Thursday Our room (the kitchen) is accumulating empty pizza boxes, microwave containers and dirty bowls. The Woman would never allow this. Having sampled dregs of microwave fish pie and lasagna, think perhaps it is not such a bad thing The Woman is gone.
Friday Sputnik: The Man came downstairs very late tonight and threw out or washed everything. My stupid brother never came home so I missed out on goosh. I am not amused.