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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Five things I know [20101017|12:13]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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[with a hint of |bubbling pots]

In no particular order.

  1. My life is richer when I have cats. I don't know how I managed five years without a cat to come home to. My boys are essential to my happiness. I pick them up and put my face in their fur to hear their low contented rumbling, and then I don't care about anything else. They don’t need us, not really, and they’re the friendliest cats I’ve ever served.

  2. I am a bad drunk. Sometimes I'm a fun drunk, but I never know if I'm going to be that, or if the drink is going to tear the seal off the black hole where painful experiences live. They tend to force themselves out in a confused, shouty jumble that is helpful to no one.

  3. Friendships are unequal. To be friends, you must be willing to accept as well as impart generosity, and sometimes that's more difficult to do. You must also accept that there will be debts in friendship that can never be reciprocated. I owe some people more financial and emotional support than could be repaid in four lifetimes.

  4. I would love to be bisexual and polyamorous, but I’m just not. I love looking at beautiful people - masculine, feminine, androgynous. I find nude images of women, as well as men, erotic and sensual. But when it comes to the bedroom, I can’t get around the fact that I prefer cock. I’m also dreadfully possessive. I can rationalize myself out of it. That takes time, however, and since I’m very bad at hiding my emotions, it doesn’t exactly pass undetected. It’s my least favourite aspect of my personality. Because it’s so difficult and time-consuming for me to overcome it and there are many other things on which I want to spend my emotional and intellectual energy, monogamy is simply easier. (Laziness is another aspect of my personality that I don’t like much.)

  5. Banana pancakes should be eaten with Nutella.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: slutbunwalla
2010-10-17 11:53 (UTC)
same!

well basically.
I'm a great drunk. A lot of the time most people don't know I was drunk until I ask the next day about all the crap I can't remember happened.


And I still feel, especially after learning all about the insidious toxoplasma gondii, that I have an ambivalent relationship to the felines.

Also I like the term "shouty".

there's more but I won't go on. Except now I want banana pancakes with nutella and the closest I can get is a frozen waffle with....old jam....

ugh.

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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:24 (UTC)
Frozen waffle sounds good, but old jam, not so much!
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[User Picture]From: slutbunwalla
2010-10-19 03:29 (UTC)
yeah, limited food options at house are limited. ugh.
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[User Picture]From: ginasketch
2010-10-17 12:49 (UTC)
I'm with you on the polyamory. I'm just not wired that way, and am incredibly jealous and paranoid.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:24 (UTC)
If I were to try it, I'm pretty sure I'd spend all my energy battling envy and worrying and would have no time for anything else.
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[User Picture]From: imho_im_a_givin
2010-10-17 14:28 (UTC)
hello, you have many interesting posts!

3. Friends. Can't make them at all. I can list many, many reasons why someone would not take an interest in me- and being out of my league is number 2 following my particular eccentricities and tastes. It takes a long, long time to warm up to people.

4. Being bisexual and polyamorous might make you appeal to fewer partners because they want control and favor being the only one receiving attention. To each his own: I'd rather see an open society in which people do not have to feel they have to hide their sexuality and thus do behaviors that are contrary to their nature. I know one woman who married a man who turned out to be a latent bisexual. Personally, I'm married, straight and monogamous.

5. Banana pancakes and Nutella sounds excellent.


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[User Picture]From: ginasketch
2010-10-18 10:58 (UTC)
Just out of curiousity, what is the problem with being a latent bisexual? Unless of course he had agreed to be exclusive to her and was cheating on her...

Just like to point out some of us bisexuals are fiercely monogamous too!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:23 (UTC)
Aye, it is essential not to mix up sexuality with romantic relationship style preference!
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[User Picture]From: imho_im_a_givin
2010-10-19 02:21 (UTC)
I'm positive you are correct about some (probably most) bisexuals are fiercely monogamous. There still is pressure for people to be straight and maybe in his case possibly that was some of the problem. He did cheat on her.
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[User Picture]From: cosmiccircus
2010-10-17 18:12 (UTC)
I completely agree with number one! There are bad days when all I want to do is just come home to the cats, and everything gets a little better!

I would like to see you drunk - it would be an interesting experience.

Amen to #3 as well...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:29 (UTC)
Seeing me drunk is a bit like reading one of my drunken blog posts. I tend to ramble and get distracted by shiny things.
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[User Picture]From: chibaraki
2010-10-17 22:01 (UTC)
I think bisexuality and polyamory are all well and good if you're wired that way, but I'm with you -- I'm not wired that way. I find women physically but not romantically attractive, which I know some people probably think is horrible on some level but whatever, and I hate sharing.

Also, tbh, drama potential in relationships seems to increase exponentially as you add more people, so I'm pleased enough to be violently monogamous.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:27 (UTC)
Oh yes. It's difficult enough keeping the drama quotient down with a single partner. I don't think I'd want to spend any more time on it (which, thankfully, is minimal) than I already have to.
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[User Picture]From: sanat
2010-10-17 22:22 (UTC)
I agree with the above poster on the drama potential in poly relationships. I understand wanting to fuck other people, but full-on emotional entanglement with more than one person just seems like too much effort. Dealing with one person romantically is enough for me.

I also give the side-eye to people who pressure others to "get over" their jealousy, in order to integrate them into their poly dynamic. One of my friends back in college was describing some guy she was dating as telling her to do this, and while I agree that society can inoculate us into behaviors not normal for us, I didn't like the sound of this particular play on his part. If you want people to respect the notion that you're wired for openness, maybe try to accept that some people are wired for exclusivity.

I'm tempted to let this slip into a rant about the boundary violations that can occur under the auspices of "free love", but I will refrain for now.
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[User Picture]From: ginasketch
2010-10-18 10:59 (UTC)
I also give the side-eye to people who pressure others to "get over" their jealousy, in order to integrate them into their poly dynamic.

God yes, I hate that. It can go both ways though- I've seen monogamous people try to change poly people. Ugh. Why can't people just accept everyone is wired differently?
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[User Picture]From: andgracetoo
2010-10-18 04:06 (UTC)
I like this post.

I have been having reoccurring dreams lately about kittens. I wish so much that I could keep one where I'm living but I'm pretty sure the seven dogs would not like it very much. :(

and the drunk thing...I can relate to. I'm pretty much the same way. :/
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:38 (UTC)
Seven dogs! I've never had a dog as a pet. The bloke is keen to get one so I can experience that. What sort of dogs do you live with?
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[User Picture]From: andgracetoo
2010-10-18 20:01 (UTC)
They're all labs, one white, one yellow/tan, one chocolate and now four black including the little puppy.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-18 19:41 (UTC)
Or the body trying to keep you from helping it to fall apart!
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2010-10-20 04:58 (UTC)
I like this list. (Is it rude to play with it?)

(1) would drive me in to an allergic coma, but I think I can...understand it. Theoretically.
(2) I turn giggly & hhhhaaaaappppy. I'm sure it's obnoxious but so far I usually get laughs. Maybe because it's a rare occurrence & so far past how I'd normally act, and generally speaking, people like to 'see behind the curtain'? (not that I've flashed my curtains. as far as I can tell) o_0
(3) Yes.
(4) This one is difficult, but I like your fleshing-out of the idea. *time elapse* Goodness. Wrote a book & then deleted. You don't need me to use your journal as a Psych's couch!
(5) Banana pancakes?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-31 18:00 (UTC)
(1) Theoretical cats! Hm, I think somebody may have had that idea...
(2) danaid_luv flashing her curtains. OMG. *slain*
(3) *shoulderbump*
(4) Yeah, this is one of those issues that's always more complicated, which is why people spend lifetimes trying to study and understand it. I wouldn't have minded if you'd written about it, btw, but I can understand not wanting to make it public.
(5) Pancakes with little slices of banana in them. Nom.
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