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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Bounty Information | Wanted Dead or Alive: Mad Scientess Nanila
Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

Trains and stuff and nice taxi men who drop me off at home and HI DR0NK [20101002|00:24]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
[Tags|, ]
[the weather today is |full of love for everyone]
[with a hint of |even stealth parpers, lalala, DR))NK and typos]

Hello internet! I am DR0NK!

And I have to tell you a story about how I was on the train, reading The Guardian and pretnending not to be as dr0nk as the people around me who were going home to Cambridge and were clearly also dr0nk.

So i was in one of those four-person table-seating area jobbies, and there was this tall slim model-looking girl next to me who kindly moved her mile-long legs aside so I could get into the seat next to her when I steamed onto the train THREE SECONDS before it left. No really, Three Seconds. The doors slammed shut behind me. The lady on the platform looked at me pityingly as I ran limping up the platform (having fallen on a Tube escalator trying to get to the train because hi, DRONKK). So anyway, the nic emodel girl moved her legs so I could get in.

About 20 minutes into the journey, there was a SMELL. A bad SMELL. And it was coming from our area. And it was not me. Soebody had parped. I pretended to be really absorbed in an article about how gormless Ed Milliband is. But really I was watching for signs. Signs of guilt. Signs of parp.

The girl next to me suddenly got up and went to the toilet. HA, I thought. She has to go to the toilet. Clear indicator of guilty parp party.

But no! One minute after she had left, the fresh scent of parp hit my nostrils. So no. It was not model girl. It was the couple across from me. Girl was pretending to be asleep. Man was repeatedly clearing his throat. Perhaps him? Not sure.

Model girl returned from the toilet. We smiled at each other as I shifted to give her maximum returning space. Then we both caught the eye of the man across. GUILT. Guilt, pure and plain and clear, all over his face. The parper was caught.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: bowtomecha
2010-10-02 00:20 (UTC)
Dronk postings rock!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:29 (UTC)
I enjoyed writing it. I think. I sort of remember it!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:29 (UTC)
Yes. Everybody eats, so everybody parps.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:30 (UTC)
Parper sloped off really quickly when the train stopped!
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[User Picture]From: doccy
2010-10-02 06:52 (UTC)
Just remember the 3 stages following identification of the stealth parper.

1) Stand.
2) Point.
3) "J'ACCUSE!!"


:D
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:37 (UTC)
I wonder what he would have done. Perhaps this.

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[User Picture]From: cosmiccircus
2010-10-02 07:07 (UTC)
LOL - funny post! I love all the new words I learn from your posts!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:38 (UTC)
Parp is a word that needs to be spread around. Although I'm not sure the world needs more actual parping.
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[User Picture]From: cheekytubemouse
2010-10-02 18:04 (UTC)
HA! This post cracked me up.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:39 (UTC)
I must resist the urge to fix all those typos. </solemnface>
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[User Picture]From: automatic_kafka
2010-10-02 22:56 (UTC)
i give this story 5 stars.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-10-04 12:43 (UTC)
It's all true.
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