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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Bounty Information | Wanted Dead or Alive: Mad Scientess Nanila
Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

Sussex, 28-30 May 2010 [20100614|18:22]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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After the unexpectedly clear weather we experienced for our previous two walking holidays, you would think we might be prepared to suffer a little on our third. But no. As we drove merrily to our hostel in Sussex, which sat in the shadow of Arundel Castle, thoughts of sunny blue skies danced in our foolish heads. We walked through a light drizzle into town for Friday evening's meal, full of joy and ale.

Naturally, our optimism proved totally unfounded, which it should have been anyway since we'd checked the weather forecast for Saturday and it unequivocally declared that there would be rain. Lots of it. When we rose, however, the sky was a pale unthreatening grey, so we picked up our packed lunches and got in our cars.

We parked in Emsworth, where our walk started. Shortly thereafter, the heavens opened. We gritted our teeth and plowed onward to Thorney Island, which is actually a peninsula.

Thorney Island harbour

There were two things about Thorney Island that we didn't know until we arrived. First, that it is an active military base and the use of photographic equipment is forbidden. Second, it is protected by fearsome SAS sheep. Seeing them convinced me that it would be impossible to take photos covertly.

We Are Watching You

Our guidebook instructed us to go all the way around Thorney Island (~9 miles) and then continue on around the adjacent peninsula (~5 miles). However, after a nine mile trudge through horizontal pelting rain with sufficient wet weather gear for four people divided between seven, we surrendered to the temptations of a hot cup of tea and a...well, we couldn't sit down. The chairs were covered in velvet and we were soaking. We took turns taking trips to the toilet and furtivelyy attempting to dry our wetter items of clothing with paper towels. Not furtively enough to escape the notice of the locals, however. A man went to the toilet while one of the lads was wringing out his socks in the sink and announced, "There's a man in his pants in there, washing his feet in the urinal."

We departed swiftly.

Of course, as we walked towards the car park, the sky became lighter and lighter, until a weak sun shone through, illuminating such peaceful scenes as a nest-building swan on a tranquil pond.

We were not amused by nature's irony, and used the whole experience as an excuse to gorge ourselves at our pub supper. Three courses with double drinks orders and our equilibrium was restored at least. Returning to our hostel, we relaxed by playing games, e.g. foosball and that terribly addictive flag-identification app for the iPhone. I can safely say I'll never forget what Micronesia's flag looks like.

The following day, we went to Arundel Castle because we heard there was going to be a siege. We were welcomed by a piper.


We walked through the grounds and the reenactment preparations, making special note of the hog roast, which was already smelling appetizing at 10 AM.

Arundel's older walls

Arundel's newer walls

We passed an imposing gate that appeared to lead nowhere.


Finally, we reached the formal gardens. On arrival, we paid a visit to the petting zoo, because of cute baby animals. Little goats and tiny ponies and baby pigs, oh my! Also, we saw the Duchess of Norfolk, to whom the castle belongs. We didn't know it at the time, of course, but some amongst our number had an inkling and when we looked her up on the internets, we found we were correct. I am proud to say that we were civilized enough not to ask to pet the Duchess.

Outdoor fountains

In front of the bizarre indoor fountain

Indoor fountain

The crown is suspended by the jet of water alone. The inscription behind the fountain reads: "This building based on a design by Inigo Jones for the masque Oberon the fairy prince performed at the command of Henry, Prince of Wales, January 1st, 1611. Was opened by Charles, Prince of Wales, May 14th MMVIII".

Fertility hut, or so we assumed

Arundel Cathedral viewed from the castle garden

Once we'd emerged from the garden, it was time for the siege. We found a good spot on the grass, sufficiently behind the children so as not to appear overly eager, and sat down to watch the men in shiny suits clunking towards each other while the smoke from the guns filled the air. I believe some kind of narrative was being followed, but to be honest, we were too absorbed in providing running commentary amongst ourselves to notice.

Clash Of The Reenactment Geeks

Why Is It Always The Little Dude Out In Front

We unwound after the battle by strolling along the castle walls and taking in the view.

Fitzalan Chapel in the castle; Arundel Cathedral in the background

View from the castle walls

Before we left Arundel, we celebrated our achievements with a roast pig sandwich and apple sauce. It had been a hot day's strolling already, and we needed to ensure that we had sufficient energy for the beachside lounging that followed.

We drove to Hove and parked by the promenade, to facilitate ambling towards Brighton in a vague quest to find fish and chips.

Beach huts in Hove

Walking down the promenade

Old Brighton Pier, succumbed to fire and crumbling into the sea

New Brighton Pier

Blokes on Brighton Beach

Me on the promenade

From the washout of the main event, I think we managed to salvage quite a nice weekend. A+; will walk again.

[User Picture]From: bowtomecha
2010-06-14 19:11 (UTC)
This was quite pleasant.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 14:47 (UTC)
Thanks! It was quite pleasant to experience, too.
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[User Picture]From: cosmiccircus
2010-06-14 19:43 (UTC)
What a cool post! I love all of your little trips that you guys take!

So was the island thorny? Or was Thorney a person, as I suspect?

And I think the sheep were probably soldiers in disguise, so it's probably best that you didn't get much closer to them...

Arundel is a beautiful castle! Did you get to go inside? Did you get any photos of the baby pigs?

Was the reenactment fun? I've always wanted to spend the night in a castle...

And cute photo of you at the end!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 14:53 (UTC)
Thorney Island is, as you first suggested, the Isle of Thorns. The name derives from the hawthorn bushes on it.

We went into one section of the castle - the Keep - but as it cost twice as much to go into the other rooms, we didn't pay to see that bit. The rooms are lavishly furnished, but to be honest, once you've seen one castle, you've kind of seen the lot, in my opinion. It takes a lot to impress me now that I've seen a fair few English castles and mansions. In fact, the only one to do so in the past couple of years was Kingston Lacey in Dorset. I'll have to post the photos from that at some point.

The reenactment was a little on the slow side and could have used more participants, but it was still entertaining.

Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: sanat
2010-06-15 03:24 (UTC)
"Surveillance sheep. I hate those."

Looked like a lovely fun time, all things considered!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 15:07 (UTC)
I find we're pretty good at making the best of what could be unpleasant situations, usually by application of judicious quantities of beer and hot food.
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[User Picture]From: swerve
2010-06-15 05:28 (UTC)
The little dude is out front because he can't see over the others.

I love these posts.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 15:07 (UTC)
That's altitudinally logical. I like it.

Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2010-06-15 11:56 (UTC)
*lol* Those sheep are awesome! They look ridiculous. And hurrah for a good bout of people hitting each other about a field with comically long swords and inappropriate leg-wear!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 15:13 (UTC)
They looked in pretty desperate need of shearing. The reenactment was most amusing. I liked that the participants approached with zest and humour.
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2010-06-15 16:07 (UTC)
The sheep do indeed see all...and wonder if it's food.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 15:15 (UTC)
It would be all right if they stopped at "wondering", but they tend to proceed directly to "sampling" without thinking much harder about it.
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From: pbristow
2010-06-16 19:43 (UTC)
So that penultimate pair of pictures, there... Does that constitute what you boffins call a "pier review"?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 15:16 (UTC)
I would say yes, except it usually involves more acerbic commentary. We were pretty relaxed and complimentary.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-06-17 15:17 (UTC)
! ^_^
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