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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Dorset holiday: Stories of Little Niece [20100510|09:32]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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Our first day in the holiday home in Dorset consists of breakfast, shower, swim, hot tub, sauna, lunch, cycle ride, nap, sauna, Doctor Who (sort of – Little Niece is on my lap “fixing” bits of me with her sonic screwdriver for most of the show so we are a little distracted), supper, hot tub and rounded off with a game of Arkham Asylum which we lose badly before a sleep untroubled by dreams of Yog-Sothoth.

Little Niece displays a distinct lack of interest in television and is frustrated with our preference for paying attention to the screen with moving pictures rather than her. At one point, even her sonic screwdriver fails to distract me from the terrified face of Amy Pond. She is forced to her last resort. Positioning herself directly in front of me, she drops her trousers. "Excuse me, miss, are you trying to get my attention?" I enquire. She giggles naughtily, pulls up her trousers and flings her arms around my neck. "Yes," she replies.

~*~


We breakfast with Little Niece the next morning. While we eat our porridge with baby bagels (Little Niece-speak for Cheerios), we contemplate our plans for the day. The bloke & I decide to go for a cycle ride.

“Auntie [personal profile] nanila, I need to take a picture of you before you go on your bicycle ride.”
“Okay.”
Little niece places her hand across her forehead.
“Smile,” she orders.
I smile.
She looks at me intently for several silent moments.
“Okay, you can go now.”
“Thank you.”
“You have to play with me when you come back though.”
“I will,” I promise.

We ride down the track to Milton Abbey, enveloped by the scent of wet wild garlic. The cows watch us pass, regarding our attempts to moo to them with a kind of placid disdain. When we return, Little Niece holds me to my promise. We colour animals in her new colouring book. We make them swirling pinks and purples. Some have bright blue spots. "These are not very realistic," I observe. "No," she says. "They're better."

~*~


We are in the hot tub. Little Niece is wearing water wings.

“What’s going on here?” she says, referring to the bubbles.

“I’ll tell you what I think,” I answer solemnly. “I think we’re in the belly of a giant parp monster who never stops parping.”

She stares at me flatly. “You made that up,” she says accusingly.

I have no answer for this.

~*~


Little Niece is "helping" me to make porridge. This involves standing on a chair next to me while I anxiously try to keep her from touching the hot pan or pouring in an entire container of milk. We hit on the happy notion of both holding the wooden ladle to stir. As I dish up for each of the family, she solemnly adds baby bagels (Little Niece-speak for Cheerios) to each bowl. An extra handful automatically goes to Mummy, but Uncle Bloke would have gotten short shrift were it not for the intervention of Auntie [personal profile] nanila.

~*~


The bloke and I are playing pool in the conservatory. Little Niece follows us around, insisting on chalking our cues before each shot. The bloke invites her to take a shot, placing her little stool in the appropriate position so she can reach the table. She picks it up and moves it elsewhere. He insists that she move it back or she won't be able to take the shot. She lowers her face and leaves the room, muttering.

"Go and get her," he tells me.
I shake my head. "She'll get bored and come back. You watch."

Three or four shots later, Little Niece returns. "This is my sad face," she announces, sticking out her lower lip. Our laughter rings from the glass ceiling. Little Niece can't help herself. She joins in.

~*~


As I stand talking to her daddy, Little Niece comes in with her hand on her head. "I bumped my head," she wails. Daddy bends down to kiss it. "Nooo," she wails. "Who do you want to kiss your head?" asks Daddy. "Mummy," she answers. "Mummy can't because she's outside," he tells her. "Auntie [personal profile] nanila," she sniffs. Daddy asks, "Who do you like better, Daddy or Auntie [personal profile] nanila?" Little Niece stares at him defiantly, bumped head completely forgotten. "Auntie [personal profile] nanila," she declares. "That's not very nice, miss," I gently reprove her. "Probably true, though," Daddy says wryly.

~*~


The bloke & I have to depart earlier than the rest of the family, who are staying the entire week. As we prepare to depart, Little Niece comes in to "help" with the packing. She reveals herself to be even more clever than I thought, as she stealthily removes items from the bags I have just put them into and runs off to put them away in the living room. Little Nephew distracts her with an attempt to steal her crayons long enough for me to finish. I am performing the final sweep of the room when she returns, stomach foremost, hair in disarray, looking at her feet. "Auntie [personal profile] nanila, I don't want you to leave," she pouts. "I'm sorry honey, I have to go," I reply, hugging her. "But I don't want you to," she says, wrapping her fists around two sizeable chunks of my hair. I am still trying to detach her when Mummy walks in. "Love hurts," I tell her over my shoulder, as Little Niece tightens her grip.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sanat
2010-05-10 09:07 (UTC)
Cute! My seven-year-old cousin tries to waylay me like that every time.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:45 (UTC)
With the unpacking or the clinging?
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[User Picture]From: sanat
2010-05-13 03:29 (UTC)
The clinging mostly, though she did get into my purse when she was younger. Thankfully the safety switch on my pepper spray was secure. 0.0
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[User Picture]From: chibaraki
2010-05-10 09:43 (UTC)
I think one of my ovaries just jumped up and kicked me in the kidney or something.
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From: pbristow
2010-05-11 12:17 (UTC)
Me too! Which, you know... [GESTURES VAGUELY AT VARIOUS INDICATORS OF PHYSIOLOGICAL MALENESS] ...Unexpected! =8o\

Can I have an Auntie nanila?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:37 (UTC)
She's terrifyingly cute. I'm not sure it's legal.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:44 (UTC)
Yeah. I'm typically ambivalent towards motherhood so it's kind of a shock whenever I see her.
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[User Picture]From: ursarctous
2010-05-10 11:46 (UTC)
she sounds amazing. and i love that you said 'parp'.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:35 (UTC)
I love the word 'parp'. I found this card that had a fuzzy green parp monster on the front. It was on the mantelpiece for months.
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[User Picture]From: cosmiccircus
2010-05-10 13:37 (UTC)
Something tells me that you'll make a great mother someday :)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:34 (UTC)
We'll see if that comes to pass eventually. Right now I have no idea how I'd fit a child into my life - it's already overstuffed!
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2010-05-10 18:02 (UTC)
Little Niece is awesome. Ask her how she knew you were making it up.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:33 (UTC)
I don't know if she'll remember next time I see her but I'm sure it will happen again.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2010-05-10 19:47 (UTC)
Dunno what is was about it but I found myself nearly choking up while reading. Must be allergies. *snuffles*

(May I cut & paste & re-name you from nanila & send to my family? They ask about you periodically & I think they'd love your narrative...)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-05-12 18:32 (UTC)
*hands you a tissue* The lilacs are in bloom here.

(Of course you may. I'm flattered. Thank you.)
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