Hello! It is almost 2010 and I am little bit drunk. So I think it's time I explain to you why I like my little niece.
I pop into the bedroom to get dressed to go for a walk outside with Niece to feed the neighbour's chickens. Niece doesn't like it when I leave the room. This is a fact. Another fact: Our bedroom door doesn't lock.
Niece: "Auntie nanila!"
Me: "Yes, miss?"
Niece: "Auntie nanila, what are you doing?"
Me: "Getting dressed so I can go outside."
Niece: "Auntie nanila, can I come in?"
Me: "Two seconds and I'll be out."
All goes quiet for exactly two seconds. There is a thump and the door flies open. Niece bursts in and confronts Aunty, who is only wearing jeans.
Niece: "Auntie nanila, you have to put a top on or you can't go outside. You'll get cold like that!"
Niece: "Alles, alles, alles!"
Me: "Good song. Do you have another?"
Niece: "Luege, Luege, Luege!"
Me: "Who sings that?"
Me: "Did you sleep well?"
Me: "I'm sorry. Why?"
Niece: "There was a monster under my bed."
Me: "Oh dear. I asked them to leave you alone but one must have ignored me."
Niece: "It's okay. I chased him outside. It was cold out there and he wanted to come back but I slammed the door and ran back upstairs."
Me: "Did you sleep after that?"
A pause while we contemplate our slices of satsuma.
Me: "Was it a fishman?"
Niece: "No. Shoggoth."
You see? I don't need to have children. There is already a little me.