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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

Last post of 2009 [20091231|22:55]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat

Hello! It is almost 2010 and I am little bit drunk. So I think it's time I explain to you why I like my little niece.

Item 1
I pop into the bedroom to get dressed to go for a walk outside with Niece to feed the neighbour's chickens. Niece doesn't like it when I leave the room. This is a fact. Another fact: Our bedroom door doesn't lock.
Niece: "Auntie nanila!"
Me: "Yes, miss?"
Niece: "Auntie nanila, what are you doing?"
Me: "Getting dressed so I can go outside."
Niece: "Auntie nanila, can I come in?"
Me: "Two seconds and I'll be out."

All goes quiet for exactly two seconds. There is a thump and the door flies open. Niece bursts in and confronts Aunty, who is only wearing jeans.

Niece: "Auntie nanila, you have to put a top on or you can't go outside. You'll get cold like that!"

Item 2
Niece: "Alles, alles, alles!"
Me: "Good song. Do you have another?"
Niece: "Luege, Luege, Luege!"
Me: "Who sings that?"

Item 3
Me: "Did you sleep well?"
Niece: "No."
Me: "I'm sorry. Why?"
Niece: "There was a monster under my bed."
Me: "Oh dear. I asked them to leave you alone but one must have ignored me."
Niece: "It's okay. I chased him outside. It was cold out there and he wanted to come back but I slammed the door and ran back upstairs."
Me: "Did you sleep after that?"
Niece: "Yes."

A pause while we contemplate our slices of satsuma.

Me: "Was it a fishman?"
Niece: "No. Shoggoth."

You see? I don't need to have children. There is already a little me.

[User Picture]From: prosicated
2009-12-31 23:29 (UTC)
Best. Nieceling. Story. EVAR.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-01-04 19:42 (UTC)
D'aw. Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: sanat
2010-01-01 00:04 (UTC)
AWWWWW!!! Best niece evar!

Happy Hogmanay! Tek another cup 'o kindness! ;)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-01-04 19:43 (UTC)
Happy 2010! I think I've had quite enough cups o' kindness for a while. I'm looking forward to a dry month (reinforced by the fact that I am so broke, I can't even pay attention).
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-01-04 19:45 (UTC)
Oh yes. It's a good thing too, because my mind was absolutely whirring when she pushed open that door. I went through all the possibilities for reaction: panic, shame, admonishment, horror. I couldn't decide on one, so ended up looking nonchalant, which was probably the best thing I could have done.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-01-04 19:46 (UTC)
They are awesome...but I think I will make an effort to put some sort of hook contraption on our bedroom door before the little darling visits again.
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[User Picture]From: giles
2010-01-02 01:56 (UTC)
I would've found #1 quite prurient before reproducing.

Now that I'm older and the sort of person who sticks his own half-dressed child out the door and waves her around in 28 degree (F) weather while saying "SEE YOU NEED MORE THAN A SUNDRESS ON" it just makes me nod quietly.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2010-01-04 19:48 (UTC)
I don't think excessive modesty lasts very long in the presence of children. They're just not fazed by it.
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