|Happy Non-Sectarian Festival Holiday!
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
So the bloke bought a ham, because his parents are coming over for NSFH dinner tomorrow. We have to feed four people. Somehow this entailed purchasing the Biggest Gammon Joint In The World. It didn't fit into any of our pots, not even the double boiler. We had to buy a new pot just to cook this ham, and it barely fits into that one.
The Biggest Ham In The World
The ham had to be boiled for three hours in a broth of cider, vegetables, bay leaves and peppercorns. The house smells amazing. That port, by the way, is the 2008 Barnard Griffin Syrah, which was purchased in Washington state on our last trip to USA, for nine whole dollars. It is excellent.
I Sense That Pig Is Near
"If I laser my way through the table with my eyes, the ham will fall into my mouth."
"You will give me the string. AND the ham. Do not toy with me, human."
The String! The STRIIIIIING!
BHITW Is Ready For Oven
If you'll excuse me, I have to go and get more port into me before the bloke cottons onto it and realizes he should stop drinking ale.