The ham had to be boiled for three hours in a broth of cider, vegetables, bay leaves and peppercorns. The house smells amazing. That port, by the way, is the 2008 Barnard Griffin Syrah, which was purchased in Washington state on our last trip to USA, for nine whole dollars. It is excellent.
"If I laser my way through the table with my eyes, the ham will fall into my mouth."
"You will give me the string. AND the ham. Do not toy with me, human."
If you'll excuse me, I have to go and get more port into me before the bloke cottons onto it and realizes he should stop drinking ale.