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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Children Are Evil [20090629|13:28]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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[the weather today is |suspicious]

I spent the weekend in a forest near Battle (where fighting was invented) with some friends and children of friends. I was therefore able to obtain extensive photographic documentation to support my hypothesis that Children Are Evil.


Exhibit A: The Tractor
Look at this maniac. Do you want to see him behind the wheel of a tricycle, let alone a motorized vehicle? I shudder to imagine the destruction he could wreak with a combine harvester. England would be a smouldering wasteland in a matter of days.
Exhibit B: Heeere's Joseph!
Though he may be armed merely with a felt-tipped pen, there is no mistaking his murderous intentions. This moment of truth was captured by his ally in wrongdoing, Karig, whose foul deeds will be expounded upon momentarily. I can only assume she neglected to delete this incriminating evidence before handing the camera back to me.
Exhibit C: Deception
At first glance, it appears that the young dark lord is being assisted down the steps by a kindly ally. I assure you, though, that this benign behaviour simply lulled the attendant Big People into a sense of false security. Immediately upon completion of the descent, the horrific scene depicted in Exhibit D was enacted.
Exhibit D: Hand-to-hand combat
Here, the little bundle of malice has managed to take out two Big People with a single tackle. And he wasn't even wearing any pants. EVIL.
Exhibit E: Invocation of foul gods
Little Joseph has much to learn from his older, craftier ally. Karig lays flowers in the fairy ring, loudly proclaiming to the Big People that their purpose is to please the friendly woodland spirits. I, however, was not fooled. I know that alluring posy is infused with the black thoughts and designs with which she hopes to trap and enslave us. The worst part is that it worked. SUPEREVIL++.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: 3g0
2009-06-29 13:17 (UTC)
ahhhh so cuuuute! I remember those faces. Alas mine still hasn't developed an appreciation of the allure of wearing pants.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-06-29 22:03 (UTC)
Not even Spiderman pants?
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2009-06-29 15:34 (UTC)
1) I want the SUPEREVIL ++ VILLIANS HAIR. (spreader of envy, a deadly sin!)
2) They are often very evil, and yet I still wish to wrap them in tortillaś and and eat them because they are delicious. Theyŕe probably high in calories and full of transfats.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-06-29 22:04 (UTC)
Yes. I don't think it takes many babies to make a bottle of baby oil.
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[User Picture]From: anthrokeight
2009-06-30 19:53 (UTC)
EVBO, as opposed to EVOO?
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2009-06-29 15:41 (UTC)
Yes I see much potential in these two...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-06-29 22:06 (UTC)
At this rate they'll be running the country by the time they're 12.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-06-29 22:07 (UTC)
'Struth. She's a very fanciful young lady. ♥
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