Mad Scientess Jane Expat (nanila) wrote,
Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Reasons I Dislike Cyclists.

I had to poke the lens of my camera in through a broken pane on the opposite stained glass window of a mausoleum in Hammersmith Cemetery to take this photo. Blah blah I like to take pictures in cemeteries blah yes I'm a big goth blah blah what I really want to rant about right now is
Reasons I Dislike Cyclists*. Here we go.
  • The intolerable air of smugness they exude when talking about how healthy it is and how good for the environment. Yeah yeah. Go hug a tree, hippy.

  • An innocuous comment such as "That's a nice bike" provokes a tedious 25-minute monologue expounding its virtues.

  • The to-wear-a-helmet-or-not-wear-a-helmet argument. They all go bombing around at insane speeds, or they're clipped in with those ridiculous shoes, so if they fall off, does it really matter? Honestly, they'd need full body armour to keep from getting hurt.

  • Lycra.

  • The insufferable cheek they have, glaring at pedestrians when they're riding on the pavement, where they're not supposed to be.

  • The exemption they seem to have from obeying traffic signals, including pedestrian crossing lights.

  • Did I mention the Lycra?

  • The ones that think those little reflectors on the wheels provide sufficient indication of their presence at night.

  • Sneaking up behind me without using their bell and then acting pissed off when I don't get out of the way quickly enough.

  • Finally, the most important reason: I should not have to worry about getting run over by a grumpy fat man in electric blue Lycra while walking through a cemetery, goddammit.

* Lovely flatmates, colleagues and friends excepted, of course. </furious backpedaling>
Tags: anecdote, london, photo, whinge
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