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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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The Matter of the Missing Bulgarians [20090210|09:37]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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One of my favourite games to play on my walk to work is "Spot the Sleazy Diplomat". You see, Imperial College has been fortuitously situated next to the Natural History Museum, the Science Museum and the Victoria & Albert Museum, all of which offer free admission and impressive collections. It is also less fortuitously situated in the midst of some of the embassies of the most corrupt regimes on the planet. If you don't believe me, check out this list and note which addresses appear on either Queens Gate or near Gloucester Road.

Nearly every morning I witness a group of men in expensive suits, dripping rings and cigars (yes, at 8:30 AM), tumbling out of a BMW and stinking of cologne, with faint undertones of last night's booze. I watch them straighten their jackets, push each other on the shoulders and eye up a few yummy mummies. Then I wait to see which embassy they'll enter. Bangladesh wins a lot. So does Thailand. One building that I would like to see anyone enter at all is the Bulgarian embassy. Has anyone actually met a Bulgarian diplomat in London? Or, for that matter, a Bulgarian? Yeah, I didn't think so.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: saltdawg
2009-02-10 11:09 (UTC)

I have met bulgarians. They like to carry Butcher knives.

I've always wanted diplomatic immunity.

And on a side note, I once spent an evening with the Djiboutian ambassador to Eritrea. That was an enlightening night.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-12 13:26 (UTC)
I think, in his/her position, I would consider "staying alive" to be a sign of successful fulfillment of my job requirements.

Edited at 2009-02-12 01:26 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: greyface
2009-02-10 12:53 (UTC)
I haven't met him in person, but the Sumo Champion (not grand champion, mind you, just Champion) Kotooshuu is Bulgarian.

He's huge.

And eats a lot of yogurt.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:07 (UTC)
He sounds delightful. Are you sure he's not a figment of your imagination?
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[User Picture]From: 3_nic
2009-02-10 13:15 (UTC)
I've actually met a Bulgarian diplomat. He was really a spy. True story.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:08 (UTC)
Whose side was he on?
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[User Picture]From: 3_nic
2009-02-11 17:57 (UTC)
Oh, quite firmly on that side.
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[User Picture]From: girl_onthego
2009-02-10 14:02 (UTC)
Me! In Liechtenstein. She was awesome.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:08 (UTC)
Liechtenstein doesn't count! It has to be in London.
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[User Picture]From: girl_onthego
2009-02-11 15:10 (UTC)
::weep::
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[User Picture]From: lesyeuxouverts
2009-02-10 14:28 (UTC)
See, I don't believe in Eastern Europe. Therefore this does not surprise me in the least.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:09 (UTC)
I've only been as far east as Croatia. Until I see it with my own eyes, I'm not sure I believe it exists either.
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[User Picture]From: lesyeuxouverts
2009-02-11 10:22 (UTC)
If you encourage me in the slightest bit I will expound at length on this theory. It has kept my sister and I amused for hours at a time.
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[User Picture]From: lesyeuxouverts
2009-02-11 14:35 (UTC)
Sounds like a plan ! I'll message you my phone number just in case.
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[User Picture]From: wurlitzerprized
2009-02-10 16:56 (UTC)
i have met bulgarians in malta.
but you can meet just about anyone in malta...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:09 (UTC)
"The Maltese Bulgarian". No, it doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it.
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[User Picture]From: repoman
2009-02-10 17:12 (UTC)
I have known a Bulgarian...and they are a funny bunch. Not funny, ha ha, but funny as in "where is my wallet again".
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:10 (UTC)
"Bulgarian burglers". It's alliterative. I like it.
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[User Picture]From: helpful_mammal
2009-02-11 09:11 (UTC)
It's not so much that no one has seen a Bulgarian diplomat in London. It's that no one has seen a Bulgarian diplomat in London and lived.

If you ever meet one he'll have to kill you with his umbrella
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2009-02-11 10:11 (UTC)
I think I'm rather grateful to have thus far failed to encounter any Bulgarians now, as I haven't spent the last five years building up an immunity to iocaine powder.
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[User Picture]From: helpful_mammal
2009-02-11 10:55 (UTC)
You haven't spent the last five years building up an immunity to iocaine powder? Inconceivable!
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