Young physics professor: "I broke a rib go-karting. I drove mine into a wall. As it turns out, I'm rubbish at driving. But I'm very competitive!"
YPP: "I just hope when the archaeologists dig me up and look at my knobbly rib cage, they'll think, 'Gosh, he must have been a mighty warrior. Look at those spear wounds.' Instead of, 'That one's from his wife's elbow and the other's from hitting a wall in a go-kart.'"
YPPD: "We'll make sure to bury you wearing a full suit of armor and holding a shield."