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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

I laughed so hard I nearly peed [20080805|09:57]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
The bloke delights in seeing me squirm. Yes, in that way too, but what I'm talking about right now is that horrendous feeling you get while watching someone make a complete ass of him/herself and wishing you could stop it.

As a result, we end up viewing television programmes like Peep Show, which isn't what you think - it's much, much worse. Two hapless blokes who can't live harmoniously with each other and with opposing philosophies routinely fail at life, that's the premise. And they do it in the most awful, cringe-making way possible. Anyway, the point is, the bloke loves the effect it has on me, which is to make me turn bright red, bury my face in his armpit and whimper until it's over.

This weekend, I finally found something that has the same effect on him. I've been waiting over a year for this, and I may just have to download and keep this to show to him when he's being intolerably English and unflappable.

It was the Women's Institute Guide to Brothels, a programme about a couple of terribly sweet elderly ladies from Hampshire who go around the world in search of the perfect, safe environment for working girls. I spent about half an hour engrossed by it before I realized he was cowering behind me with his eyes covered. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Mmmphmmmishwhmmngish," he said from beneath the pillow. "What?" I repeated. He uncovered his mouth long enough to wail, "My mum is watching this!"*

He refused to emerge until it was over. Not even the moment when one of the girls whipped out her favourite vibrator to demonstrate it to the ladies could tempt him from the sanctuary of the duvet. ("I've never seen one before. Ooh, that's nice!" they said. "Bet she orders three as soon as she gets home," I grinned. "I can't believe my mum is watching this," he blushed.)

* His mother is a WI member.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2008-08-05 09:25 (UTC)
Well. The WI is just full of surprises!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-05 15:19 (UTC)
I suppose it's a bit "liberal/progressive", but if you look at it from the perspective that one WI mandate is to improve the quality of life for all women, it makes sense that they'd be open to options that would make sex workers safer.
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[User Picture]From: sanat
2008-08-05 09:32 (UTC)
Oh, that just sounds adorable. The show, I mean, but the cringing Englishman too, I guess. ;)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-05 15:14 (UTC)
If you can find a way to watch the show, please do.
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[User Picture]From: ironed_orchid
2008-08-05 12:28 (UTC)
Brilliant.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-05 15:12 (UTC)
Like a bright shining blushing beacon, yep.
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[User Picture]From: chickenfeet2003
2008-08-05 12:38 (UTC)
Did you know there is a WI in Ugley?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-05 15:10 (UTC)
I wanna know if there's one in Little Snoring!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-05 15:21 (UTC)
Marvelous. I think Ugley and Little Snoring have just made my day, courtesy of a friendly bear. Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-05 15:11 (UTC)
I'm trying not to rub it in. Much. You know, aside from making a public blog post about it.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2008-08-05 23:02 (UTC)
Oh, that's beautiful. And as one that embarrasses so. da*mned. easily. over things on the tv, I can both relate & hoot at the turned tables. Take that! \o/
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-06 07:12 (UTC)
Exactly. If we've got to suffer regularly, surely it's okay for others to do so once in a while.

...Aaand that's our gloating validated. Woo hoo!
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[User Picture]From: mysti77
2008-08-06 08:29 (UTC)

HAHA I LOVE IT

Peep Show is awesome, too bad I never get time to watch it. I dont get the cringe feeling like you do tho.

And that Women's Institute Guide to Brothels, I did watch that I think it was on over the weekend. It was a bit embarrassing watching these little old ladies. But they took it in stride well enough. The phone sex one was HORRID tho. HAHA
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-08-06 22:11 (UTC)
Ah, but you have a lovely new house to work on at the weekends. Envy!

I'd forgotten about the phone sex bit. Even I got embarrassed at that.
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