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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Pincushion [20080605|23:47]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
[the weather today is |wistful]

Threading past the London Eye
I pluck a needle from my heart.
What is it? A sadness -
The tightly closed leather face of someone
sleeping on the pavement next to an empty lager can.
I turn the heart over.
I pull another needle out.
This one is the shouting of a thin lined woman at children who no longer hear her.
Look, there’s another.
The fat angry fist of a bullied girl, clenched around a packet of crisps she doesn’t want to eat.
Chewing them drowns out the taunts.
And this one,
the drooping shoulders of a man who has spent the last twenty years
commuting for an hour and half each way to work.
So many more -
The frenetic fatal cartwheeling of a pigeon hit by a bus.
The surreptitious wipe of leaking eyes with a soaked tissue.
The takeaway box dropped a metre from the bin.
The rattling cough from lungs full of dust and diesel fumes.
The prurient leer from a lorry driver.
A blur of gesture
Glare, stumble, curse, honk, cackle, push, hurryrushlatelatelate -
I stop plucking.
I know the cost of living here now.
Walking with my eyes open,
that resonant twinge at every step.

[User Picture]From: kittenhotep
2008-06-05 23:36 (UTC)
Yes. Thank you for pulling these words out.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-06 15:08 (UTC)
Thank you for reading them.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2008-06-06 00:31 (UTC)
God, that twists in deep.

But is it somehow better, just a little bit, that someone took the time to notice? Don't suppose it changes their lot, their next five minutes, but...maybe it makes you better.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-06 15:09 (UTC)
maybe it makes you better

I hope so. I think that's about the only non-delusional positive view that can be taken of the situation.
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[User Picture]From: wurlitzerprized
2008-06-06 02:12 (UTC)
very telling.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-06 15:12 (UTC)
Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-06 09:24 (UTC)
Since I live & work in the land of the bourgeoise, it's more likely to be bags from Waitrose.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2008-06-06 05:39 (UTC)
The lines between sad cost, beauty and luxury are sometimes nonexistent, or at the very least unclear. There are all those visions, and then the vision of your eyes moving across them, broad and crystalline and wet, then selfishly conjuring the notion that they might never close.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-09 10:59 (UTC)
While I always carry a book with me to read on my commute, I often don't end up reading it because I'm too busy looking out the window. I know it's the same route every day, but there's always something new to see and there are views of which I never tire, like the glorious green railings of Hammersmith bridge framing the Thames vista.
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[User Picture]From: nationofsheep
2008-06-06 15:36 (UTC)
A lot of great imagery there. Thanks.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-09 10:57 (UTC)
I appreciate that. Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2008-06-09 10:27 (UTC)
It could be titled, "Why Not To Live In London"...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2008-06-09 10:56 (UTC)
I didn't want it to be too obvious, you see.
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