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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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An ode to lust. [20070110|18:59]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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[the weather today is |omg, it's a public entry!]

All right, all right. After years of denial, I might as well confess that I have a...thing...for British men. Specifically, English men. I've made a short list of reasons, and yes of course they're very shallow, this is purely an aesthetic thing so I make no apology for that.

Why I fancy English men, by nanila.


  1. Buttoned-down shirts. No one knows how to wear shirts the way English guys do. Most guys look pretty good when they're all cleaned up, of course, but there's something about the way English men choose the fit and cut of their shirts that makes me go all wibbly. American guys might say, well, they just choose tighter-fitting shirts. The thing is, so do the Europeans, and they don't have this effect on me, they just make me confused about whether or not they're gay.

  2. Jeans. Okay, I'll come off the clothes in a minute (har!) but seriously, whatever it is you're looking for when you go into the dressing room, dear English boys, don't stop. Also: nice ass.

  3. Mouths. Not every English bloke has a pretty mouth. The ones that do, though, have exceptionally kissable lips. Oh my god, that was kind of sappy. I think I'm making myself blush a little bit now.

  4. Conversation. They're interested in having them! At length! And they don't automatically become deeply aggrieved when you disagree with them! (This might count as a serious gripe against Americans, actually. We take ourselves waaaay too seriously.) Also, I enjoy the constant mockery that goes on between groups of English people who know one another very well.

  5. Fraught silence. Since English guys are largely incapable of emotional articulation except in the most intimate circumstances and/or when exceedingly drunk,* everything must be read from the eyes and body language. In some ways this is extremely annoying. Mostly, though, the tension makes me hot. (Yes, I know, there's something wrong with me.)

    And finally:

  6. The accent. I hope you all appreciate how difficult this is for me to admit. I have an almost visceral hatred for American girls who swoon for a British accent and think that everyone in the country must sound like the BBC. Believe me, darling, the first time you hear a white van man shout, "'Ere, show us yer tits, luv!" when you're walking down the street with your groceries and you're tired and you just want to get home goddammit, you will no longer be in love with any English accent. A posh accent can be lovely, but I think I'm fondest of regional accents that have been smoothed off by academia yet are still recognizably, say, North London.


* I'm so going to get slaughtered for this statement.
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Comments:
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From: ripperlyn
2007-01-10 19:46 (UTC)
Uh, I don't think you will get slaughtered for that statement, because it's BLOODY FREAKING TRUE.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-11 22:11 (UTC)
So far, no one has seen fit to challenge me. I am only slightly surprised.
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[User Picture]From: wurlitzerprized
2007-01-10 20:11 (UTC)

there will always be an england!

YES YES YES!
i love englishmen.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-11 22:13 (UTC)
They are delicious. Especially when they taste of whisky and cigarettes.
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[User Picture]From: impix
2007-01-10 20:14 (UTC)
i think thats why i love english men too.

gawd bless 'em.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-11 22:16 (UTC)
The shirts get me every time. I'll be riding the bus and see some exceptionally well-shirted guy walking down the street and I'm instantly glued to the window. YUM.
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[User Picture]From: chickenfeet2003
2007-01-10 21:00 (UTC)
I'm so going to get slaughtered for this statement.

Not by me. The lemur was having a go at me for this just a couple of hours ago. So, show us yer tits love!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-11 22:14 (UTC)
Ah well. I think you have the right spirit, though, because everything is better with boobies.
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[User Picture]From: comfortslut
2007-01-10 21:37 (UTC)
Okay, so my question is, do you find yourself slowly adopting the accent yourself, or do you assert the americanism in your speaking voice on purpose?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:20 (UTC)
Until recently, I'd convinced myself that it was only my vocabulary and rhythm of speech that had been Anglicized. But I was talking to this woman from Arizona on the plane last week and when I told her I was just visiting LA, I lived in London, she said, "I thought so from your accent." So I guess despite my best efforts I'm starting to adopt the pronunciation as well.
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From: 24db
2007-01-10 22:26 (UTC)
Hah! sussed ;)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:22 (UTC)
I suspect I still have a lot to learn. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: ursarctous
2007-01-10 23:30 (UTC)
haha, i don't think i can apply any of those things to any of the english men i know! where are you meeting these people?!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:31 (UTC)
At work? In pubs? When drunk?

...Hm, that could explain a lot. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: returntosender
2007-01-10 23:33 (UTC)
At the risk of appearing to split hairs, I hope the gentlemen you are referring to consider themselves more British than English. ;)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:34 (UTC)
I thought it went something like this:

English == British

to the English, Scottish/N Irish/Welsh == British
to the Scottish/N Irish/Welsh, Scottish/N Irish/Welsh != British, thank you very much. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: slutbunwalla
2007-01-11 02:02 (UTC)
I just love China Mieville.

::sigh::
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:35 (UTC)
In a word, lickable. Yes.
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[User Picture]From: seismic
2007-01-11 02:23 (UTC)
I'm so going to get slaughtered for this statement.

Maybe. But wouldn't anyone who'd be inclined to do so have to get exceedingly drunk* before doing so?

* Or be in an intimate circumstance with you, in which case... so?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:37 (UTC)
I think so, but then again, maybe that's why it appeals to me. There's nothing like shared hangups to bring people together.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:23 (UTC)
I figure I can put some of the blame on you for introducing me to Spooks, which is pretty much the penultimate in beautiful British eye candy.
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[User Picture]From: bellelaqueen
2007-01-11 12:51 (UTC)
I find I've developed a thing for lads since living over here. Lads and Posh tottie. You know, the ones who call their mothers Mother or Mummy (but aren't neccessarily mummy's boys) and wear stripey school-boy looking blazers. I want to break them. *goes off to drool*


Look what you did! *L*
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:40 (UTC)
I can't sincerely apologize for inciting lustful English schoolboy fantasies, so I won't try.
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[User Picture]From: behsharam
2007-01-11 13:56 (UTC)
I have a thing for Scottish boys. I don't haven't analyzed it much, certainly not nearly as much as you have here with English boys. All I can say for sure is I love the accent.
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[User Picture]From: kanzakura
2007-01-11 15:32 (UTC)
I agree with this post.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:47 (UTC)
I should hope so! ;-D
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[User Picture]From: omniana
2007-01-12 11:23 (UTC)
Hee hee. I think your points are a bit biased, but I'll forgive you that and just say that such points do apply to men of other regions, say, Ireland, but then you could accuse me of being biased as well.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2007-01-12 21:41 (UTC)
You're definitely biased. But you're also right! :-D
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