|Pick-up Lines That Don't Work, #485672
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
"Excuse me, have you ever had lesbian sex?"
Perhaps I should have titled the post "Pick-up Lines That Don't Work, Not Even If You Are An Attractive Finnish Girl."
I'll remember to take that one off my list.
Of course, nothing has yet to beat my "guaranteed to work!" line...and I'm only sharing it with you because I'm out of the market and you live too far from me to actually have a chance to use it.
"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kinda concerned. I mean, we'll probably hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, and next thing you know we're exchanging phone numbers. I finally get up the nerve to call you and we take in a movie, have some dinner, and have a lovely time. I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible. We decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a year or so later we get married. I get a promotion, you get a promotion, and we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really like freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful. The sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and pissed at me for working so much and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence, I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification with a co-worker. You find out because I'm a lousy liar, throw me out, justifiably so, and now we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just incredibly sad. So if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going and it's best to think of the children."
That's a fantastic pick up line!
2006-09-15 21:14 (UTC)
If they could convince me they could make it happen, how could I say no?
One day, science will find a way.
well have you? inquiring minds want to know...
Agreed. Quit avoiding the question.
I meant to ask you earlier, do you read the barmaid blog?
No, where is it? Link please!
it'd be a good conversation starter if you tried it on a man. best to avoid doing so when he's just taken a sip of a drink though.
It would probably work if Mr. Flibble asked it, too.
I hope I remember that line. It would be great to use for a short story or a novel.
Write it down & stick it on your fridge!
What if it's the hot chick you've been making do-me eyes at all night?
Well, if you must bring context into it, I suppose it would depend on whether or not she was responding in kind.
2006-09-16 05:08 (UTC)
Jeff: Oh, wouldn’t that be great... being a lesbian. All the advantages of being a man, but with less embarrassing genitals.
See, I'd argue that as a woman, you have all the advantages of being a man, but with less embarrassing genitals, regardless of sexual orientation. ;-)