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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Always this close [20060521|11:53]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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Always this close

The problem with photography is that I spend so long planning, executing and touching up an image that by the time I'm finished, I have no idea whether or not it's good.

The thin veneer of metaphorical glass that keeps that knife from going into my eye isn't sanity. It's uncertainty.

[User Picture]From: impix
2006-05-21 11:52 (UTC)
that image is scarily close to how im feeling right now.
i like the veins on your hand
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-22 08:47 (UTC)
There seems to be a general atmosphere of angst and woe about at the moment. It would be nice if it were to go away. And possibly take the rain with it.

I have weirdly translucent skin. Even when I'm tanned, I'm still sorta see-through. It's very peculiar.
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[User Picture]From: leidan
2006-05-21 11:54 (UTC)
Shocking and beautiful.

I love the checkers behind the blade.

I don't know that it is just photography, it's something about creating; by the time you have finished any objectivity is poured into the object to make it. I guess you just have to trust the concept and let the best version go *isn't thinking too much about the experiment that isn't anything like he planned at all*
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-22 08:50 (UTC)
Yeah, and sometimes putting things aside for a few weeks (or months. Or years) helps to gain perspective as well. I just re-read the novel I started, oh, a year and a half ago. It doesn't stink as much as I'd thought when I stopped working on it a few months back, and I knew exactly what changes needed to be made to the draft. I actually have the gumption and direction to finish it now. Unfortunately, it seems as if the so-called real world doesn't often afford one the luxury of the kind of time needed to actually get something right, what with deadlines and grant renewal applications and bills and other unpleasantnesses.
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[User Picture]From: leidan
2006-05-22 11:18 (UTC)
Yeah, too true, on all accounts really.
One of the bad things about being more in the private sector as far as research goes is that I never have any time to just explore the things that interest me.
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[User Picture]From: ironed_orchid
2006-05-21 13:09 (UTC)
This is a really powerful image. I like that the knife is in the light while the face is more shadowed.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-22 08:53 (UTC)
It isn't quite what I had in mind when I started working on it, but I like the way it turned out. Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2006-05-21 14:08 (UTC)
I had a strong reaction to this picture that surfaced over a few minutes. At first, I was looking to the spaces... the darkness behind. A vacillation that seemed the face of mustered courage in opposition with soft flesh. Hard beauty and unstable strength- a hard knife-hand balanced on a field that can offer no equilibrium. I felt my eyes start to water and then I realized what was going on...

Losing Cheryl

Sometimes, the hardest thing
is to draw the next breath,
but our lives become the lives
of those who have left us;
our hearts become the vessels
of their spirits, not immortal,
but an extension of their existence.

So, the brave endure,
if not for themselves,
then for those memories and souls
they choose to value
more than their own.

Love, itself, doesn't know
time or circumstance.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 12:58 (UTC)
You always manage to leave the comment to which I have no adequate written response. Imagine that I am sitting with my eyes half-closed, savoring a glass of excellent whisky on a cold wet night, possibly purring occasionally. That's about right.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 11:35 (UTC)
Thank you. It's easy to try and make something complex and instead end up with something that's simply confusing, so it's good to hear that the photo does the former and not the latter.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 11:27 (UTC)
It made sense. Of course, I'm hung over too.
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[User Picture]From: wurlitzerprized
2006-05-21 22:11 (UTC)
you know, you have lovely hands...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 11:26 (UTC)
Heh. When I was a student in LA, I got to talking to a bartender one night. Somehow the discussion of summer jobs came up and I told her I hadn't found one yet and was worried. She looked puzzled and then exclaimed, "I know, you could be a hand model!" I laughed, until I realized she was serious. Then I thought, people have that job. After that, I thought, this is LA. There is an agency that specializes in hand models.

I don't remember how I did it but I know I changed the subject.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2006-05-21 23:36 (UTC)
It bothers me. Not in a 'poorly executed, odd negative space, etc. sort of way... It's just very, very intense. From the set of your jaw, the distrust in your eyes, to the firm grip of your hand...it's not at all relaxing. Which is likely the point, so in that vein, you've done a sharp job.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 11:38 (UTC)
Thank you, and you're right, that was the point.

I think the next photo I post will be a fluffy bunny image, as doing all the disorder stuff has not been terribly uplifting. ;-)
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[User Picture]From: helpful_mammal
2006-05-22 11:06 (UTC)

Oooh and other noises

Oooh. I like it. Or rather, I don't like it - I find it horribly and darkly disturbing on a visceral level - but I like that it has that effect. So I guess I do like it.

This series of pictures is remarkably striking. The fact that they generally make me sto and go "Oooh" impresses me no end. And while that's in part the same sort of "Oooh!" one says when watching fireworks, its mostly the sort of "Oooh" one says when one simultaneously discovers where the cat left the rest of the mouse and that one's socks need washing right now.

The pictures make me think. And not necessarily things I want to be thinking. That's impressive, that is. :)
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[User Picture]From: sadira42
2006-05-22 13:34 (UTC)
It's definitely good. And chilling.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 11:07 (UTC)
Thank you for the reassurance, and the assessment. I was definitely after chilling.
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[User Picture]From: vndictivesprite
2006-05-22 14:12 (UTC)
This picture is pretty upsetting, but don't worry not in any triggering way, it just makes my stomach turn and I can't look at it for too long. I suppose that's my way of saying you did a good job by attempting (poorly) to convery how I've connected with it.

Oh, I can't play the DVD's, something about them not being compatible with my TV format and whatnot, would you like me to send them back to you so that someone over there can watch them?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-23 11:06 (UTC)
Argh, I should have thought about the pic potentially being triggering. Thanks for mentioning it anyway, even though it didn't affect you that way. I'll LJ-cut it.

Oh crap! Really? Did you try playing them on your desktop or laptop? I don't know if you're opposed to watching stuff on a monitor as opposed to your TV, but I know they played fine in the DVD players on the Win/Linux box and the G4 tower here. If you don't want to do that, then sure, it'd be great if you sent them back. There were a few other people who requested them.
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