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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Disorder #6 [20060517|16:29]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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[the weather today is |one more left.]

Disorder #6


Anorexia.

Because if you can't be beautiful, you might as well be dead.*

* Please note sarcasm.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2006-05-17 16:21 (UTC)
What are the patterns on your face?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-17 16:47 (UTC)
It's a photo of a skull model. You can see it clearly if you look at the larger size.
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From: enzeru
2006-05-17 16:50 (UTC)
Skeletal ones, I believe. Subtle enough to be called into question, eh?
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[User Picture]From: opheliablue
2006-05-17 18:21 (UTC)
I think this series of photos+words is amazing. I want to go back and look at them all one after the other when they're all here and I'm not so braindead.. this one really hit me. It's very powerful. It had a really strong impact on me when I saw it - not that I can put it into words, I don't think - it's something to do with the place I'm working at now and spending all day with people so young who are so close to dying when they come into the centre and the fact that I'm immersing myself in a huge pile of books, mostly first hand accounts by people who survived anorexia (or in some cases, accounts by people who knew them because they didn't survive).

Just, wow.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:29 (UTC)
I'm grateful to you for taking the time to tell me you found it moving, especially considering how busy you are at the moment. Thank you. If you have the time and inclination, I wouldn't mind hearing recommendations off your reading list too.
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[User Picture]From: opheliablue
2006-05-23 19:53 (UTC)
There are a couple I've read a few times over the last few years and a few I got mainly because they were really cheap in the used section on amazon and I wanted to have a few to read - they're probably not amongst the 'better' ones, not sure yet - there are so many more I want to get. Anyway, one of the ones I already had - maybe you've already read it - is the best one I've read so far - Wasted - by Marya Hornbacher - it's a very detailed, well-written first hand account - I guess overall it's really quite a difficult one to read (in that it's distressing) - I felt quite upset about it for a while after I finished reading it, but it's very honest in the way she ends it - no false 'hey I'm cured!' ending at all.

One I just got and read this weekend was good - The Invisible Girl by Peter Barham. It's about his daughter, Debbie Barham, who died not that long ago as a result of anorexia. She was a comedy writer - started out writing for radio shows and ended up writing for things like Spitting Image - Rory Bremner, Clive Anderson, etc. - it's kind of uplifting in a way although she died. I'm not sure why exactly - perhaps partly because he includes some of her writing in it and she was very funny - her personality really shines through too.

One I seem to re-read every couple of years, My Body, My Enemy by Claire Beeken - I think this one is good.

If you're interested, can let you know when I come across more interesting ones :)
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[User Picture]From: victorine
2006-05-17 18:23 (UTC)
That's really striking, makes me feel a bit ill. I love it, can't stop looking at it. The only comment I have is that your hands detract from the potential angles of your jaw. I would like to see more of your neck.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:18 (UTC)
There's a lack of contrast between my jaw and my hands, probably due to my rather simplistic lighting setup (daylight from the left, big diffuse lamp from the left, desk lamp underneath and a couple feet in front of me). It's made worse by the skull overlay, which is quite bright. I'll have to think about how to fix that. Do you think it would work better if my hands weren't necessarily lower, but instead more in shadow?
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[User Picture]From: omniana
2006-05-17 19:11 (UTC)
I really like this. It's very striking and disturbing. Alas, only one more left, looking forward to it. Have you other ideas brewing, or are you going to give yourself a break?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:14 (UTC)
I haven't decided yet. I have one idea I'm really keen to act on but I also have two solid months of house guests, and given that the house is my studio at the moment, I might switch tracks for a while and work on writing.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2006-05-17 20:02 (UTC)
Disturbingly beautiful? No. Beautifully disturbing.

I really, really like how you lit this.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:12 (UTC)

Glee.

I had a feeling you'd notice the lighting. I put a desk lamp with a sheet of translucent paper underneath me to diffuse it, but while taking some test shots, the paper slipped. I took one look at the pinpoint reflections in my eyes and decided to leave it off.
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[User Picture]From: ironed_orchid
2006-05-18 05:35 (UTC)
That image is very disturbing. I approve.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:10 (UTC)
Thank you, that was the idea. Although my boyfriend tells me he finds the image I posted today much worse.
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[User Picture]From: ironed_orchid
2006-05-21 13:09 (UTC)
I can see why.
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[User Picture]From: impix
2006-05-18 13:36 (UTC)
again, i love this.
im going to miss this series, however i cant wait to see what you produce next.
also, i hope everything is ok with you.
xx
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:09 (UTC)
Thank you. With regard to your deleted comment, and I believe this is sufficiently cryptic: Me too.
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[User Picture]From: impix
2006-05-21 11:35 (UTC)
xx
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[User Picture]From: bellelaqueen
2006-05-19 21:51 (UTC)
I really like this one. I'd like to say more but overstudying has left me slightly lacking in the making-sense department.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:05 (UTC)
Cool, thanks. I hope all is going well with the academic stuff.
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[User Picture]From: slutbunwalla
2006-05-20 09:15 (UTC)
ooh, the skull overlay is freaky.

When I got back from Hawaii I got the package you sent. I had totally forgotten about it and was even whinging about how I need to get that movie!

so it was like double christmas super plus!
Thanks!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-05-21 11:03 (UTC)
Huzzah! I was a bit worried that it might go astray since I sent it just before you left, so I'm glad to hear you received it.
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: slutbunwalla
2006-05-25 20:32 (UTC)

hello? Hello?

Is it the phone? Is it for me?
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[User Picture]From: feathered
2006-07-01 03:16 (UTC)
Are you going to do more of these? I found your journal while wandering through my friends-of-friends list (thirdbird is the link between us) and I am so glad I did: your photography is amazing on all counts, but this disorder series is outstanding, horrifying, and brilliant. All of them, but especially the depression/suicide one, make my insides feel a little shredded. That's a good thing. All of my favourite art, whether visual or linguistic, makes me feel a bit devastated to experience.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-07-02 16:26 (UTC)
Hello! Thank you very much for the comment. I have one Disorder more planned but haven't had the chance to pick up the prop I need for it (a mannequin arm) for the past month. I may eventually do more, though I think I needed the break, as I discarded a few after #4 without posting them. I hope you won't misunderstand if I say I appreciate your visceral response to the images. It was difficult to create and share a couple of them (particularly Depression and Anorexia) as they are extremely personal.
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