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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Time to get off [20060421|20:28]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat

I like to watch people on the train and imagine what they look like when they're having an orgasm. (Who doesn't?) Like the perfectly coiffed girl chewing gum, her glossed lips barely moving. She leans back, tilts her head so that her hair flows down her back, closes her eyes. She makes a little noise, but not too much, just enough so that her partner knows she's enjoying it. Not because she thinks it's sexy, although that's what all those films have led her to believe. Mostly she's wondering if she can get out of it without messing up her makeup. The grungy-looking dude with the paint-covered overalls, he keeps his eyes open, clenches his teeth and groans loudly, once. The plain woman struggling with her luggage and looking worried is a demon in bed. She can't often relax enough to let a lover give her an orgasm but when she does, she squinches up her face and screams her head off. The dour man in the suit bites his lips and suppresses all sound. It's a holdover from his teenage years when he used to fuck another boy in the locker room toilets. If he doesn't make any indication that he's enjoyed sex, then it never happened. That tiny, wicked-looking lady covers her mouth with her hand when she has an orgasm because she doesn't want her lovers to see that she's giggling. Sex always seems silly to her. The meek bald man in the corner, he can only come during oral sex and he talks the whole time, sneering. He says filthy, horrible things that he doesn't mean at all.

Hey, it's the Queen's birthday today. I wonder what she looks like when she has an orgasm? They should put that face on the coins.

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[User Picture]From: vndictivesprite
2006-04-21 19:38 (UTC)
Yet again, my favourite person today.

P.S. how is it that by page 7 my proposal that I'm writing for this class has deteriorated into this structureless mess of scientific babble that I'm dreading sorting through when I'm finally finished?
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From: enzeru
2006-04-21 19:55 (UTC)
"OooOO, Philip, I say! Nearly woke up the Dorgis with that corker, didn't I?"
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2006-04-21 20:14 (UTC)
"It's those damned nipple twists, m'dear. Gets you every time."
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[User Picture]From: communistgnome
2006-04-21 20:42 (UTC)
I thought I was the only person that did this. Not necessarily on a train, mind you. Just randomly.

One of the other things I do is look at really old people, and try to guess what the most depraved sexual act they've ever performed is. Because they were young at some point, right? And they probably got talked into SOMETHING weird at some point, right?

Along those same lines, I often wonder about what secrets people are carrying around. And I think if I ever found out in a lot of cases, I'd be really scared.
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[User Picture]From: sadira42
2006-04-21 20:55 (UTC)
I give this post an A+! And way to start off a weekend!
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2006-04-21 21:11 (UTC)
*blinking* YOU are a favourite. Hands-down.

My hook was to wonder what they'd look like completely bald--whether they'd have a nicely shaped head or if they'd look like a physical topology map. Or dead. If they'd look good in photo, eyes open and staring. Huh. I think I like yours better.
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From: tdj
2006-04-21 21:27 (UTC)
I don't think I'll ever be able to ride the BART with a straight face again.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-22 15:07 (UTC)
My work here is done.

(I confess, I occasionally used this trick to keep myself awake during really boring talks at conferences. The squick factor alone was almost as good as a double espresso.)
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[User Picture]From: slutbunwalla
2006-04-21 22:13 (UTC)
Oh that's funny.

I wonder what other people think I would look like during orgasm when they are watching me sitting on the train.....Now I'm going to be all self-conscious.
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[User Picture]From: omniana
2006-04-21 22:49 (UTC)
My dear. The part in the movie Amelie where she is counting the number of people having orgasms surprised and tickled me immensely, this post beats that. I must say I've never consciously done this. I know I have let my mind wander, but if ever I have a thought close to this I get embarrassed and forget it. I don't embrace my naughty me, which may be why your post is all the more a brilliant but guilty pleasure.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2006-04-22 00:40 (UTC)

unholy resonant thoughts, catwoman

I know that most humans are about 96 percent bonobo. I'm pretty sure with me it's about 98.
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From: ripperlyn
2006-04-22 01:21 (UTC)
You freaking genius you.
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[User Picture]From: behsharam
2006-04-22 01:58 (UTC)

I'll have what she's... oh never mind.

Are you ever tempted to fake one in order to put your fellow passengers' inquisitive minds at ease?
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-22 14:56 (UTC)
Nah. Let them wonder. For the most part, I sure don't want to know whether or not I'm right about them.
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[User Picture]From: ironed_orchid
2006-04-22 03:40 (UTC)
I think today I shall explore a new city by using their public transport system.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-22 14:56 (UTC)
That's the spirit!
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[User Picture]From: attictroll
2006-04-22 07:46 (UTC)
Ha! I do that too, but yours are /way/ better.
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[User Picture]From: opheliablue
2006-04-22 09:15 (UTC)

Hope 'Her Maj' doesn't read *your* journal as well as mine - they'll put us both in the tower of london!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-22 13:38 (UTC)
Oh dear. To be photographed by thousands of visiting tourists a day, that would be truly torturous.
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From: libra_verde5
2006-04-22 14:20 (UTC)
Bless you, that was hilarious! I thought I was the only one who thought these thoughts, apparently not!

In reference to the queen, I doubt it happens for her. But if it did, the prince would most definately have to be behind her and she would probably be waving, out of habit of course.
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