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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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State of mind. [20060409|19:32]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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Mourning


Groups of teenagers put me on edge. It doesn't matter how they're dressed or whether they're male or female. They exude so much nervous energy and hyperawareness of their surroundings that it pushes me from self-conscious to paranoid and I want to get away from them as quickly as possible. (I had this feeling when I was a teenager. It was worse then.) I walked past six or seven of them lounging on their bikes yesterday. They watched me pass with my camera. One of them said "Cheese" to get my attention. I smiled at him as his friends punched him playfully and felt bad about having been afraid.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:07 (UTC)
Yeah, especially since it usually involves them being very loud. And cursing a lot. And blocking the entire pavement.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:11 (UTC)
I thought of you when I took it.
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[User Picture]From: wurlitzerprized
2006-04-09 19:33 (UTC)
i know exactly what you mean. their hyper, nervous energy shoots like a bat out of hell straight to a sense memory somewhere in my body, and i tense up...feel very insecure. but with me, different bands of teenagers yield different feelings: some anger me, some weaken me, some have little effect except leaving me hyper-vigilant. those that make me the most nervous are the ones you just know will never learn that they don't own the world. not growing up gives me such a fright...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:15 (UTC)
Your breakdown of reactions is spot-on. That last one sets off a strange combination of triggers - the sense memory you mentioned, my flight response and another vaguely maternal protective worried feeling. I find the latter particularly unsettling, partly because my maternal instincts are otherwise pretty much nonexistent and partly because I know I'm powerless to stop them from doing the stupid things they're doing.
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[User Picture]From: becala
2006-04-09 20:07 (UTC)
Yeah, but think about the other thousands of times groups of teenagers are rude if not downright dangerous. You had good reason to be nervous, and I am the same way.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:16 (UTC)
True. I'm more nervous because of the camera equipment I'm carrying around.
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[User Picture]From: nationofsheep
2006-04-10 03:06 (UTC)
They make me nervous from time to time, but I always remember that none of the kids I come in contact with regularly could be half as bad as my group when we were teenagers. They also respond pretty well to me setting limits when they start to get into mob mentality. I find myself in a position to set limits for teenagers more than I would generally like. It's sort of a stranger superpower, but such is my burden... ;)
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[User Picture]From: nationofsheep
2006-04-10 03:07 (UTC)
oh and that stone is awesome
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:17 (UTC)
It was bronze, actually. Changing to b&w and applying a few mostly-transparent filters made it look like stone. :-)
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[User Picture]From: nationofsheep
2006-04-11 15:23 (UTC)
Wow. I can't even see the bronze now that you told me.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:20 (UTC)
As a teacher, though, you have a different power dynamic with them than you do when you're walking down the street. I mean, the balance is a bit more likely to be automatically tilted in your favor. Of course, if you don't grab hold of it pretty firmly, or if you have a particularly unruly group of students, you can blow that quickly.
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From: ripperlyn
2006-04-10 07:06 (UTC)
You're right, it's always hard to walk past teenagers. One never knows if they're going to smile and wave harmlessly, or if you're going to get fucked with. :(

Glad in this case it was OK. :)
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:30 (UTC)
If, while I'm visiting, we see the two little shits that messed with you the other week, we should give them a thrashing. >:E
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[User Picture]From: enn
2006-04-10 15:13 (UTC)
i know exactly what you mean! as always, you put it into words better than i ever could!
also, hello!
gorgeous photo shutterbug!
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:33 (UTC)
Hello again you! Thank you for the compliments. I love the stuff you uploaded to Flickr recently.
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[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2006-04-10 16:10 (UTC)
I think noisy groups of teenagers hanging about without a purpose make everyone nervous.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 14:34 (UTC)
Yeah, probably most people anyway. Maybe unless you're a 6-foot-plus alpha male.
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[User Picture]From: omniana
2006-04-11 14:43 (UTC)
Hmm, great explanation. I've never analyzed my reactions, I just know that I eye them warily. I suppose it's worse if their attentions are actually focused on you. Great photo! I haven't been vocal recently, but I've been loving all of your photos and stories.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-04-11 20:43 (UTC)
Thanks, C. Your comment gave me a much-needed boost today.
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