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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Bounty Information | Wanted Dead or Alive: Mad Scientess Nanila
Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

The Royal Mail can suck it. [20060215|12:11]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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What is up with the post office? I mailed out my 40-150 mm zoom lens for repair today. I've become accustomed to having to wait for half an hour in the queue. But I can't get used to the people serving me trying to sell me things. I just want to send my goddamned mail. I don't want another credit card, a personal loan, a phone card, a phone plan, or to refinance my non-existent mortgage. Isn't it already bad enough being a postal employee without forcing them to absorb the additional vitriol of the type endured by salespeople everywhere?

I'm so sick of having advertising thrust in my face every time I leave the house. It's enough to drive a girl to take a fire hose full of black paint to every bus, black cab and billboard in town.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-15 16:52 (UTC)
In that case, I probably shouldn't have announced my fantasy publically. Whoops.
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[User Picture]From: nimoloth
2006-02-15 12:53 (UTC)
I've found a little place called "Mailbox" (or something similar) that also posts by Royal Mail (and most other services) but without the huge queues at the post office, and on Byres Road, it's only a few doors down *g*. It'a a place that provides mailboxes for you if you don't want or can't have things sent to your house.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-15 16:55 (UTC)
Ah, that's very cunning of you. Hm, I bet there's a place near here that does the same thing. I'll have to find it. I know there's a Parcel Force depot nearby but I've only ever gone there to pick stuff up.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2006-02-15 15:48 (UTC)

Mr. Hypno & Tetanus Vaccines

Maybe you're on to something. Instead of painting over all the ads, though, I say go with hypnotic suggestion on a mass scale. I wonder how many sessions it might take to get someone of average suggestibility to see all ads as art pieces devoid of pitches and pleas.

I was going to suggest a "Bites Salespeople" t-shirt, but then I realized that might, um, encourage certain individuals. Hmmm... perhaps a whole line of t-shirts designed to put off sales pitches? You might be on to a new spreadshirt.com business! donsellme.com is available. This could be bigger than Pastafarianism...

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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-15 17:09 (UTC)
I dunno, I'm kind of attached to the idea of large-scale vandalism. It's got the immediate gratification factor.

I like the t-shirt idea, though.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2006-02-15 17:15 (UTC)
Whoops... that was the Ricky Ricardo version. donTsellme.com is available, too.
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[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2006-02-15 18:50 (UTC)
*snorting* Oh good. I read it a few times and figured it was to be read aloud w/ clever accent. Am I missing the joke? *worried* Heh.
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[User Picture]From: taische
2006-02-15 19:47 (UTC)
Sometimes I have to wonder whether it's subconscious. I was once at a meeting entertaining myself by imagining how all of the other speakers might deliver their talks in silly accents. When it was my turn to speak, I referred to the British flag as the "Junion Jack" and didn't realize it until I sat down afterward and one of my smiling coworkers pointed it out.
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[User Picture]From: victorine
2006-02-15 16:22 (UTC)
It's only a matter of time before we live in the "Minority Report" type of world.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-15 17:01 (UTC)
Oh, the future, the glorious future. Someone please eat my brains so I can cope with it.
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2006-02-15 18:00 (UTC)
Wow. And I thought the US post office was depressing. Maybe you should get a "No Soliciting" t-shirt, unless you think that might come off a bit Scarlet Letter in people's minds.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-16 09:24 (UTC)
No, it's a good idea. Although given the weather, it'd probably have to be a "No Soliciting" scarf, because there's no way I'm walking around in just a t-shirt right now, no matter how good the slogan.
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2006-02-16 17:39 (UTC)
Ah yes, it's coming back to me now. There is a part of the world where it isn't 85 in the middle of effing February. =\ Meet you half way? We could both enjoy Feb at 54F?
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[User Picture]From: attictroll
2006-02-15 19:17 (UTC)
No colors any more, I want them to turn black...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-16 09:26 (UTC)
Ha! I should put that on my MP3 player so when I get caught I can say "The devil's music made me do it."
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[User Picture]From: attictroll
2006-02-16 09:39 (UTC)
Hrm. May not fly outside of the 'Bible Belt'. Lemme know if it works. I have a few songs off NIN's "Broken" I could put to use. *looking innocent*
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[User Picture]From: bellelaqueen
2006-02-16 09:03 (UTC)
I find putting on a really thick accent seems to work as most of the employees speak english as a second language and have no chance against fair dinkum Aussie speak mate.

Farting at the counter and grinning like a simpleton also works.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2006-02-16 09:29 (UTC)
Damn. I don't know if I can pull that off. I have the kind of boring American accent that comes from spending years in academia. Although maybe if I speak Californese they'd leave me alone. "Like omigod what?"

...Nah. I think farting is probably my best bet.
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