Mad Scientess Jane Expat
Setting: Last night at a bar in Shoreditch, listening to jazz played by friends. Marco is talking to an American friend. I'm talking to a saucy Welsh girl I've just met and have my back to them.
D: I know I should be watching Z drumming but I can't take my eyes off this girl's ass.
M: *looks, nods approvingly*
D: I mean, she's English and she has an ass.
M: Yeah, most of them don't.
D: And the ones that do, hate it.
M: It's a shame.
D: I'm like, girl, you need to spend more time with us minorities. We love that shit.
M: We've got a lot of holiday parties coming up. It's gonna be hard for me not to be all, "Can you come here for a second, baby?"
M: *mimes resting a drink on my ass*
M: "Thanks, baby."
Hm, let's see. She's from northern Wales, speaks fluent Welsh (first Welsh person in London I've met who does), just moved to London a week ago. Sharp-tongued and outgoing, looks v. Welsh. Blonde hair, round cheeks and chin, smile that makes her eyes crinkle up, fine handful in the bodice and the bustle, if you know what I'm saying. She's a painter. She commented that the beer she was drinking drinking tasted off, and I started to ramble about the clear bottle and thiol formation.
She said, Ah, so you really are a huge nerd. And I said, um, well, yes.
"I started to ramble about the clear bottle and thiol formation."
that's beautiful. thank you.
(i think I have that 'kind of ass' too and i know my SO also likes it like that - to the point of trying to make me eat more when he was here incase I start to lose any of it :P)
I have often heard it theorized that men can be divided into two categories: "ass men" and "boob men." It sounds like you have yourself an "ass man." Woohoo! :-D
It's all about proportions. I mean, I'm a small person mostly, but my ass is not a small percentage of my mass.
Mine is an "ass man" too. He's rather fond of the boobs but the bulk of his love goes to the ass.
From that conversation I suspect M wants to make all the other boys jealous.
I think he was just trying to get them to laugh. It worked.
I've never really understood the preference for excessively skinny women. I'm not into extremely fat but I do like something I can get my rather large hands round.
I think it's mostly women who think that men prefer excessively skinny women. I remember being in a shop the other day and glancing idly around at the magazines, and noticing the difference between the women who appear on the covers of the fashion magazines and the women who appear on the covers of the lads' magazines.
I think the preference wrt fashion models is driven by the designers (who are all gay anyway!). One can drape "clothes" on a six foot tall stick insect that could not possibly be worn by a normal human being. They don't use those girls for lingerie or swim suits though. Two bands of fabric wrapped around a narrow tube doesn't appeal to anyone!
2005-12-12 15:29 (UTC)
Hmmm... o-yeah. o-toro.
You, sir, are one distracted beastie.
Distraction is dangerous! I'll cop to "broadly focused".
2005-12-12 16:35 (UTC)
I was wondering what happened to the asses of the English. Is there some subtle interplay of musculature and anatomy between the stiff upper lip and the behind?
I smell a grant!
I declare this comment to be the winner.
2005-12-16 19:57 (UTC)
At least one psychologist claims that Americans and English smile differently
. I think we're on to something here.
The co-authors looked for smiling Americans and English in public places. The smiles were not generated by the study, as artificial smiles might indicate embarrassment or impatience(1,2) and skew the results. From behind, the co-authors groped the buttocks and lower back of the subject, ascertaining detail of the musculature while smiling.
We warn others attempting to reproduce our data that shortly after contact is established, the subject's original posture will change significantly. Future work will involve groping followed immediately thereafter with fixation, after which the subjects will be embedded in wax and sectioned, unless they react especially well to the experimental method, are willing to give the co-authors a phone number and are especially dishy. Extensive follow-up data from these subjects will be acquired.
It's all about the bum. Love it, live it.
And shake it! As often as possible. *waves bum from side to side*
Normally he conceals his filthy beast side in public. I think D is a corrupting influence.
Yes. You have nothing to worry about, oh voluptuous one. Trust me.