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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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Deeds of Derring-Do | Full of Wild Inaccuracies and Exaggerations

In 24 hours I will be in Prague. [20050228|11:37]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
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Yesterday, Marco, my cousin and I went for a late lunch at Hakkasan, a central London restaurant that's so hip that it has no sign. Should you find yourself in need of expensive food and strong, bizarre drinks - I had one involving sake and lychee - the dim sum is the best food available. While you can get a dim sum platter on the regular menu, there is a special dim sum menu offered at lunch that you do not want to miss. Bypass the uninteresting, un-Asian desserts and have the dim sum sesame balls at the end of the meal. Trust me. I know of what I speak. On the plus side, you won't need to eat for the rest of the day. On the minus side, holy exorbitance, Batman.

After our two and a half hour meal, we dropped by Marco's work and discovered that someone had tried to break in. Another person who worked in the building apparently came in at around 11 AM, noticed the broken front door, decided to ignore it and went on up to work without notifying the security company, the police or the building management company. Sense of civic duty, anyone? Wow. On the plus side, we got to watch the burglary team lady lift the fingerprints off the glass panel in the door. On the minus side, the Metropolitan Police now have our details.

The lengthy trip to the office meant we didn't head home until the buses switched over to the night schedule. We shuffled onto the 24 in a long queue of half-frozen grumpy Londoners. The last people to attempt to board the bus were two parents and their small boy. The father was on his mobile phone and had the nerve to ask the bus driver to wait until he finished his conversation before he paid for his son's bus ticket. (There was, by the way, a ticket-dispensing machine at this bus stop.) The bus driver loudly and with many expletives ejected him from the bus. I've seen this sort of thing happen before, but the best part about this incident was that after the doors closed and we lurched onward to the next stop, the driver got on the PA system and proceeded to relate the entire event to the appalled passengers.

"She call me rude, ha? When I'm trying to do my duty. If I had a child, I would buy a motherfucking ticket before I get on the fucking bus, you know? Is not crazy. These fucking people."

When in London, kids, do not fuck with the bus drivers.
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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2005-02-28 15:21 (UTC)
Oh, indeed. He definitely put the fear of London Transport in us.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2005-02-28 15:24 (UTC)
Sadly, the only thing I have the inclination to comment on at the moment is that the designers of the SAT have a vastly overinflated sense of self-importance. "We are the keepers of the One True Measure of intelligence!" Whoa, settle down, Beavis.
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[User Picture]From: nationofsheep
2005-02-28 13:44 (UTC)

yeah

I know the sesame balls. Definitely my favorite dim sum...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2005-02-28 15:25 (UTC)
Mmm, sweet bean paste in the middle. Delicious.

(You must be on your way home to the WC and the BC by now. Hooray!)
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[User Picture]From: thirdbird
2005-02-28 15:14 (UTC)
Heee! to the bus driver incident. The NYC subway conductors are the same way. I once had one who took it upon himself to give us a little pep talk about being patient with the slow train service on rainy days - "We're New Yorkers! We ain't gonna let a little rain get us down! We're gonna PERSERVE, people!"

Have an excellent time in Prague & post lots of photos please.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2005-02-28 15:31 (UTC)
And then, everyone burst spontaneously into song! (I wish.)

Got my cameras all ready to go. I hope my Lomo works. Right now it is -7 C, but it "feels like" -14 C. Oh, well, isn't that nice.
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[User Picture]From: sadira42
2005-02-28 16:00 (UTC)
Man, I love it when bus/train conductors get cute (or angry, whichever). I like them being human.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2005-02-28 22:04 (UTC)
Most of the passengers were sitting there with that paralyzed half-smile that you get when you're experiencing a combination of embarrassment and fear. But largely I think everyone was glad that he stuck up for himself.
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[User Picture]From: katyakoshka
2005-02-28 19:38 (UTC)
The world needs more no-bullshit, mock-and-deride-asshats-loudly public servants.

Yeah.

That bus driver rocks, definitely.
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[User Picture]From: sekl
2005-03-02 23:03 (UTC)
He asked what? This tops my list of idiot cell phone survival stories.

I've gotten fairly used to the dry Southwest Air, "Cell phones interfere with the operation of this plane. You must turn them off and keep them off for the entire flight. That includes cell phones on this side of the plane and *that* side of the plane."

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