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Mad Scientess Jane Expat

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beeblebabe made me into a curry. I must have my revenge. [20041210|14:39]
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
Seven LJers I would eat to absorb their powers


belladonna_ would need to marinate for eight to twelve hours in vinegar, shoyu, garlic and bay leaves. I would eat my Nancy Adobo with my fingers and a side of white rice. I would then become possessed of a dry, cutting wit, Cassandran foresight and a keen instinct for unearthing the gay in all media.

I would put sliced caravaggio in my saimin. With the steaming-hot noodles, I would no doubt soak up her encyclopedic literary, biological and medical knowledge to accompany my own in chemistry and physics, thereby rendering me the ultimate scientific genius. When the zombie apocalypse comes, everyone will want me on their side.

I think enn would make a delicious lassi. I would purée her with yogurt until she was smooth and sip her through a bendy straw. I would absorb her stealth spy-cam skills and her nonchalant air. Then I could stroll into the MI-5 as if I belonged.

I would cube kamuela, coat him in a light batter, fry him until golden-brown and sprinkle caster sugar on top. In this way, I would absorb his ability to maintain a cool head (and the upper hand) in any argument. I would never be distracted by stupidity, no matter how awesome and encompassing.

I would cover kittenhotep in black tea, ashes and salt and bury her in potting soil for 100 days, so that I could absorb the will and the dedication to save the world from Thousand Year Old Kitten Pie.

I would fillet ladybug007 finely and consume her raw, then wash her down with a pint of Guinness from a Dublin pub. From her, I would absorb her grace, her poetic sensibility and her ability to slay people in their tracks with one raised eyebrow.

taische would be hand-rolled in seaweed . I would dip him in shoyu and wasabi, and have a slice of pickled ginger in between each bite, to experience the full spectrum of flavors. I think he would go well with sake. I would absorb his highly refined aesthetic, his martial arts training, and his self-confidence.

If you've logged on to find yourself eaten, don't think of it as death. Think of it as a sacrifice you're making for the greater good.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: canonfire
2004-12-10 14:53 (UTC)
I may have to steal this and turn it into a meme...
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2004-12-10 15:03 (UTC)
I think that was beeblebabe's intention.
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[User Picture]From: shamroq
2004-12-10 15:29 (UTC)
I skimmed this, didn't see my name, and moved on.

I'm not bitter, I swear it.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2004-12-10 15:42 (UTC)
I'm sorry. I can't bring myself to eat you. I'm watching my figure, you see, and you're just so...big.
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[User Picture]From: shamroq
2004-12-10 15:59 (UTC)
I'm embarassed to admit that reply totally disarmed me. You're good. ; )
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From: ripperlyn
2004-12-11 01:05 (UTC)
To be honest, I'm offended to find myself uneaten. Or at least, unconsumed. At this point, I'd think I could be drunk with ease.
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2004-12-14 23:35 (UTC)
One needs allies in the war against evil. I didn't eat you because I figured you'd be one of the people off consuming seven of your LJ friends in order to gain their powers. :-D
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From: ripperlyn
2004-12-15 08:56 (UTC)
Hee hee. Okay then, that's all right. :) xx
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[User Picture]From: enn
2004-12-16 02:22 (UTC)

i am honored that you would eat me. that sounds odd, doesnt it?

mmm.. a lassi..
..a bendy straw!
i sound so tasty to eat,, although,, i think that may be a bit awkward;; &well, it seems you have already done it{!!}


;p
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[User Picture]From: nanila
2004-12-16 13:02 (UTC)
Lassi through a bendy straw would take a long time to drink, yes. But that's the idea! To savor the flavor.
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