Mad Scientess Jane Expat (nanila) wrote,
Mad Scientess Jane Expat
nanila

Day 4: Illness, discontent

Sick! It was inevitable, I suppose. However, I have discovered Lemsip, which is a magic drink that makes all the pain go away. Even with a generous dollop of honey, it tastes awful. Without it, I might not have left the house today. Although I make Marco a nice hot breakfast, I end up going back to bed until 1 pm.

This time, I am proud to report, I take the bus down to Cambridge Circus and don't walk the wrong way to meet Marco for coffee. I go back with him to the office for an internet fix. I have to nag my Ph.D. advisor about submitting that paper and check on my (now former) grad student. I am beginning to feel a creeping sense of suspicion that I won't be offered that postdoc position. I didn't want it, but I did want the experience of turning it down, since I'm not very practiced at saying "no."

I have time to chat with belladonna_ for a while. It's always excellent to talk with her, but especially so when the only person you've been able to talk to for the past several days is your partner. That's not so healthy, in my opinion. Sure, I've exchanged a few words with shopkeepers and baristas, but that's hardly conversation. I am fully aware that the lack of contact is not helping with the sense of isolation that I feel. I suddenly seem to have a lot of difficulty doing the simplest things, even though I was essentially living on my own for three months in California. I'm also adrift because I have no fixed schedule and no job lined up. I am not very good at being on vacation, alone. I feel discouraged and unhappy.
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