December 26th, 2009

me: ooh!

The trials and tribulations of home ownership.

I have a confession to make. I try very hard not to dislike, despise or linger on retributive emotions regarding fellow denizens of the planet. However.

I hate our neighbour's dog. I spent three hours this afternoon in the sunshine, working in the garden to prepare a spot for our shed. It wasn't warm, but it should have been pleasant to be doing something active, with the kittens frolicking around my feet, after two days of sitting inside and eating. Instead, my enjoyment of the affair was marred by the continuous barking of our neighbour's dog, who spends most of his days cooped up on the patio, going mental. I'm not exaggerating when I say "continuous". I mean he didn't stop for breath.

I'm not that fond of small yapping dogs to start with, but this thing is the worst one I've encountered. I can't even pretend I like it when our neighbour picks it up and holds it over the section of the fence that's only 3' high for us to pet. It snaps at me because it knows I hate it.

Naturally, because I'm a dough-faced frickin' hippie pacifist, I can't even fantasize about doing something terrible to this dog to assuage the loathing. My brain just freezes up and says, "No, it's not his fault, he's just a stupid animal." Instead, I fantasize about our neighbour moving away, or about the dog suddenly being transferred to an owner who will give it what it needs: some discipline and 15 walks a day to burn off its energy.

This brings me to my New Year's Resolutions. No, they're not "Be kinder to animals" or "Forgive my neighbours their trespasses." It is simply not possible for me not to hate this dog, nor to stop judging my neighbour for failing to care for it in what I deem to be the appropriate fashion. (Or to fix the fence panels when the dog eats bits of them. Because it's "our fence" - neighbour couldn't afford to erect a fence so the previous owners of our house did it - it's our job to repair the dog's damage to it. Grrr.)

My resolutions are:

  1. Fix the fence on that side so that the entire thing is blocked off with 6' panels. Preferably made of carbon-fibre-reinforced polymer. Because it would be hilarious to see the dog bounce off of them.
  2. Wear earplugs when working in the garden.