May 27th, 2009

me: ooh!

Life in the UK: A Journey to Citizenship.

As some of you may know, I have been in the UK for nearly five years. This means I must shortly apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain before my visas (yes, I have more than one) expire. The UK requires all permanent settlers and persons who desire to become citizens to take a 24-question "Life in the UK" test of their knowledge of British culture, politics and law.

I received my study guides yesterday, and must confess I find myself disappointed. Therefore, I have created my own 10-question test, and I submit it to you, my LJ friends, as the definitive version. Don't worry about getting the answers right. I'm still not sure what the right answers to some of these are myself. And neither is Britain.

Poll #1406406 Life in the UK: A Journey to Citizenship

The UK is a part of Europe.

True.
31(72.1%)
False.
12(27.9%)

The rail network has:

Extensive coverage of the most commonly use routes. It's a little expensive if you don't book in advance though.
22(52.4%)
Delayed engineering works.
20(47.6%)

Britain is:

Totally freakin awesome dude! I wanna live here.
3(7.1%)
Rather good.
39(92.9%)

What is a quango?

A non-departmental public body.
24(57.1%)
Four mangoes.
18(42.9%)

When you get drunk with a British person, you should do the following the next morning:

Make jokes about how hung over you are.
12(27.9%)
Never, ever mention it again.
31(72.1%)

The easiest place to find gratuitous boobs is:

Page 3.
25(59.5%)
Newcastle.
17(40.5%)

The most common topic of tea-time conversation is:

Football.
6(14.0%)
Commuting.
8(18.6%)
Weather.
29(67.4%)

The population of Scotland is:

Drunk.
33(76.7%)
5 million.
10(23.3%)

When on holiday in a foreign country, it is vital to learn at least a few words of the language before you travel.

True.
21(50.0%)
False.
21(50.0%)

How do you tell if an English person likes you?

When s/he invites you to the pub.
5(11.6%)
When s/he sleeps with you.
1(2.3%)
When s/he asks you to marry him/her.
2(4.7%)
You don't.
35(81.4%)


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